Slice Of Life

Tom The Plumber

2010-01-08T15:28:00.004-07:00

Hey SOL Fans, long time no see! Yeah, I know you missed me. I haven't blogged for almost a year, my apologies. I'm definitely going to try and be more conscientious from now on.

The reason for the title "Tom The Plumber", is because for the last couple of months, I've been replacing all the irrigation dribbler line in my front yard. For those unaware, here in Arizona, the bushes in the front yard each have a little dribbler line for watering. It waters just around the base of the plant, and so it saves water.

The problem, is that the standard irrigation line feeding the dribbles is this cheap flexible black plastic line. Eventually, it ages and cracks and then leaks all over the yard. I had this brilliant idea to replace it all with thick wall hard Poly Vinyl Chloride (PVC) plastic pipe. It's thick plastic, hard to work with, but it lasts forever.

Anyway, to make a long story short (HA), I replaced all the front yard with PVC, but I've been hesitant to run it to the water valves, because the line goes under the wall surrounding the yard, which involves ALLOT of digging. Until Today...

This morning, I went outside, and discovered the street flooding from a stream of water coming from under..... you guessed it, the wall. The additional problem is, that my storage shed is directly on top of those lines. So today, I emptied out the shed, and moved it, got out my shovels, and dig dig dig dig dig.... dig dig dig ( sigh) and FINALLY, uncovered the cracked tube. At this point, I though "Why not go ahead and replace the whole thing with PVC"? Brilliant Right..... RIGHT?

Nope, that's when I hit the main PVC pipe input feed to the valves with my shovel. You know, the line that's tapped off of the main house water pressure? WOW! you should have seen the geyser of water that shot up into the air! 12-15 feet, AT LEAST! I tell ya, Yosemite had nothing on me! By the time I got the valve shut off, everything was soaked. I can't dig anymore in the mud..... actually, I don't want to, and frankly, I'm tired of working on it today. So, I guess I'll just have to leave it for tomorrow. One question does come to mind though.....

I wonder how much it would cost to pay someone to finish this? :-)

P.S. - If you want to see the pictures, I posted them on my facebook page. You can friend me, by using my email address tom7259@yahoo.com Just mention Tom The Plumber, and I'll know :-)

Cell Phone Takes A Bath

2009-02-03T06:09:00.005-07:00

Word to the wise..... Cell phones do not do well in the washing machine :-)

I got rid of my land line a few years ago, so all I have now, is my cell phone. I'm not always able to hear it ring if it is on the other side of the house, so I've sort of gotten in the habit of putting it in my sweatpants pocket, if I'm just lounging around the house.

So, last week, it was the day before the first day of the workweek, which, around my house means, wash day. I wanted to get everything in the "colors", so I stripped off my sweatpants and dumped them in the washer. Yes, that means I was standing there in my underwear..... great visual, eh? Get your mind out of the gutter :-)

Anyway, one thing I forgot to do, was remove my cellphone from my sweatpants pocket. Since the cellphone was turned on, in standby mode, you can imagine what it looked like.... and worked like (NOT) after the cycle. Dead.... no functionality at all. Bummer.

I took it all apart, and sprayed it with some canned compressed air that I have for cleaning out my keyboard, and after several hours, I was able to get it to turn on. Not function, just turn on. No contact list, no battery charge, and I could see water streaks across the display. Not Good (sigh).

One of my coworkers said something similar happened to him, and what he did was put the phone on top of his TV for 3 days to dry it out. The heat from the TV cooked out the moisture. Great, I have flat panel HDTV, which doesn't generate that type of heat. However.... My Cox Cable company digital TV box seems to put out enough heat through it's cooling vents to cook an egg. So, I took my miniature Phillips screwdriver, and took apart as much of the phone as I could, and set it on top of the box overnight.

The next day, I had recovered some functionality. I could receive calls, and send them, but the charger wasn't charging the battery, and I still had no contact list. There did seem to be less moisture streaking on the display, so I repeated the "cooking procedure" a second day. This morning, the battery took a charge, but no contact list. So, I used some Isoprophyl alcohol, and cleaned the contacts of the "smart card", and reinstalled it. still didn't work, but now, it is a couple of hours into the workday, and I just tried it again, and the contact list is back :-)

So, word to the wise.... Never give your cellphone a bath...... I mean, unless you have a high temperature TV or Cable Box :-)

Row Row Row Your Boat, Gently Down The Stream.....NOT!

2008-05-19T13:56:00.005-07:00

A few weeks ago, my Adventure Club went up north of Phoenix, to do something I've been wanting to do for awhile..... River Rafting. I know, I know, I've previously written about that time I went (so called) River Rafting in the Grand Canyon, but this was different. The Grand Canyon rafting was with motor powered rafts. While that was fun, REAL river rafting to me means "Paddle Yourself". That's what we did this time.

We hooked up with the Tucson Adventure Club that we sometimes pair up with for these trips, and we drove ~ 2 hours north to an area just above the town of Globe, and started our "Salt River Adventure" just north of the town. We hooked up with a company called "Salt River Rafting" (go figure). They offer overnight and 3 day river rafting on 'The Upper Salt" (Ya like that river rafting lingo, eh?), so this time the club did the overnight. There were 23 of us, 12 from the Tucson club, and 11 of us "Phoenicians".

We carpooled up there with all our stuff, and the rafting company provided wet suits, wet suit booties, life jackets, and even helmets. I was a little "concerned" about needing a helmet, but on the other hand, the thought of bonking my brain on a rock, settled that concern immediately. We all got our paddles, and then hoofed it down to the rafts, where there was ~ 15 minutes of safety and paddling lecture. Basically, keep your hand on top of the paddle, so if the blade hits a rock, you won't get a face full of paddle (good advice in my book), listen for the commands "Right side forward (1,2 or however many stokes), Left side back, All Back etc etc", and most importantly, if you fall out of the boat, point your feet downstream, and float, we'll rescue you (you better).

6 people per rubber boat, plus 1 guide who steers from the back (4 boats total). I'm not sure why, but I always seem to get the front, whether it's rafting or roller coastering, or whatever. No problem, because like they say, "Only the lead sled dog has a clear view" :-) In this case, I was "right side, front". I was pretty confident as we shoved off, because after all, the guide said, the upper section is Class 1's and 2's, the middle is 2's and 3's, and the lower section is 1's and 2's. No problem.... right? I said..... RIGHT?

Yeah, right. About 50 feet from the start, we hit the first rapid. The critical thing they told us for rowers, is for everyone to stroke at the same time. Of course we didn't, and so we got pushed to the right.... right towards a cliff wall. With me being in the front right, guess who is going to be the first "wall kisser". The guide was yelling "Left Back Hard", Right Forward Hard" trying to steer us away, but I could tell we weren't going to have enough space...... so, BONK!! The right front of the boat hit the wall, , then the nose, then the left front, then we were going downstream..... BACKWARDS!!! So, we navigated the first rapid section in reverse, much to the delight and laughs from the other 3 boats in the group (sigh).

Anyway, after a kind reminder from the guide to "paddle together people", we got our timing down really well before we hit the tougher sections of the river. I'm not sure what Class 4's and Class 5's are like, but let me tell you, 2's and 3's were PLENTY of "rapid" enough for me, at least at my relative level of inexperience. By the time we pulled over to the riverbank for lunch, I was ready for a break. The guides actually took care of all the cooking chores, so all we had to do was unzip our wet suits slightly, and lounge around, congratulating ourselves for not drowning that morning. Of course there were several jokes about our boat people "not knowing which way was downstream", but it was all good natured ribbing, so I resisted the temptation to throw them into the river :-)

The rest of the day was spent paddling down through the lower portion of the river, in which 2 of the other boats got stuck on rocks at different times, filled partially with water that need to be bailed out, and nearly turned their boats over, and 2 people from the third boat actually did fall into the river (quickly pulled out). I noticed something funny..... nobody was making jokes about our "backwards boat" when we stopped for dinner..... hummmmmm, I wonder why? At least our boat was relatively dry (hehehehehe).

While the guides cooked dinner, I pitched my tent in a clear sandy area. Man, I love modern tents. When I was a kid in the Boy Scouts, those tents took a long time to put up. now they pop up in a few minutes. I was all set up way before the dinner bell rang. After dinner, we built this huge bonfire from the ton of driftwood on the shoreline, and spent a good part of the evening telling jokes and stories and getting really really....... really drunk. I brought a bunch of beer, and my "Patron Silver" tequila to share, and I drank from other peoples sharing's until I don't even remember going to my tent. Whew!

The next morning, when we woke up (surprisingly, no hangover), the guides cooked us breakfast, and we took our time breaking camp. The only thing I wished, is that we had done the three day, and then after breakfast we would have gone back onto the river for a 2nd day of rafting. Oh well, next time. I hear that the last couple of weeks in March is the best time, because then the water is higher, and the 1's and 2's become 2's and 3's, and the 2's and 3's become 3's and 4's. Hey.... something to look forward to for next year..... RIGHT? :-)

Oh, They Built The Ship Titanic, To Sail The Ocean Blue...

2008-02-22T13:26:00.005-07:00

My Adventure Club went down to the Arizona Science Center a couple of weeks ago. They had an exhibit of the Titanic. I was really looking forward to it, since the last time it was in Phoenix..... I missed out on seeing it. I thought it was a once in lifetime chance, so I'm glad it came back.

It was really interesting, they had artifacts that had been brought up from the ship on the bottom of the Atlantic, plus a step by step history of the building of the ship, which gave an idea of why they claimed it was "unsinkable". It actually should have been. Like most tragedies, it wasn't one specific thing that doomed the Titanic, but a series of unfortunate events that combined all together sunk the ship. They also gave you a "Passport" at the start of the self guided tour, with the name and biography of one of the passengers, which you could look up at the end of the tour to see if "you" survived. My person was a 61 year old man, traveling 3rd class, who's cabin was 5 decks down in the ship. Doesn't look to good for him, eh?

There has always been several things that I wondered about that tragedy. Why couldn't they see that darned iceberg in time? What, wasn't it big enough? Sure it was, if the person in the watchtower had his binoculars, that were misplaced in the rush for the ship to leave the dock.

And, why didn't any other ships in the area bang into, or at least see, and radio back positions of icebergs that night? They did, at least the ones that were spotted in the regular shipping lanes. Turns out, the Titanic had deviated from the normal shipping lanes, because they were taking a "short cut", trying to make the trip in the shortest amount of time, to break the current speed record for the trip.

That's the same reason that the warnings about icebergs in the area were ignored, and why the ship couldn't stop in time. The Captain had ordered "full speed ahead", so even when the night watch finally saw the iceberg, and the order for "Hard to Port, Full Reverse Engines" was given, it was too late to stop, or turn the ship away from the iceberg.

Still, even when the ship did hit the iceberg, the ship itself was designed to stay afloat, even with 4 of it's lower compartments fully flooded. Unfortunately, the iceberg ripped a hole in 6 compartments. Too bad they weren't going slower so they could stop or turn away, or had their binoculars, so they could see that iceberg sooner, eh?

And even after impact, the ship didn't sink immediately, so why couldn't they get everyone off the ship in the lifeboats? Because there weren't enough lifeboats, that's why. The ship was originally designed to carry 32 lifeboats, which was plenty for everyone, but due to cost cutting, the final built version of the ship only had 20. So, to save a buck, so sorry for the people who needed those extra 12 boats. Tough luck.

The lifeboat shortage is even more tragic, because it turns out, most of the fatalities weren't from drowning. Most of the fatalities were from exposure to the cold water, and hypothermia. Salt lowers the freezing temperature of sea water, and it was estimated the water temp in the Atlantic that night was less than ~25F. At that temperature, hypothermia will occur in less than 5 minutes. The exhibit set up a simulated "iceberg" that you could touch that was cooled to that estimated temperature. I could only hold my hand against it for ~ 30 seconds before my skin started to go numb. Too bad there weren't enough lifeboats, they might have saved everyone.

So, all in all, it was a very interesting exhibit, and I was happy for those that made it, sorry for those that didn't, and I definately learned allot more of the story, then any Leonardo Decaprio movie could have shown me.

By The way, My 61 Year Old Passenger friend.... Survived :-)

Chocolate Stuff

2007-12-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

Chocolate Dog is doing very well. Julie Dog has accepted him, after some initial "What The Heck Is That" attitude. I think she does not feel threatened or intimidated, because Chocolate is a male (different sex), and he's currently smaller then she is.

Chocolate had his first Vet visit. He was a little timid during the visit, probably due to the unfamiliar surroundings. He made friends with the Vet though, when she gave him his first Vet visit - doggie treat. With him, treats do wonders for friend making :-) He weighted 15 lbs, and he got his updated shots, including the rabies. The Vet says he's healthy, and he tolerated the procedures well. I just stepped on the scale with and without him, and 2 weeks after the Vet visit, he is now 18 lbs (+3 lbs) :-)

The biggest effort has been housebreaking. He learned to use the Doggie Door to the back yard, in 1 day, but he initially did not get the idea to go to the toilet outside in the back yard (sigh). Fortunately, after the first day, he had his "accidents" mostly in the kitchen, on the vinyl flooring, instead of the carpet in the rest of the house. So, even though I cleaned up his carpet accidents right away, I'm still eventually going to need to steam clean the living room and hallway carpets. The method I'm using to housebreak him, is the same one that worked with my other dogs, which is, I use a dog transporter crate, that I confine him in at night, and we go outside to the back yard FIRST THING in the morning. I have been leaving him and Julie outside during the day when I'm gone, and on the weekends, I go outside to the back yard every hour, he follows me, and usually does his toilet business then.

I think he's getting the idea, since this week on Thursday, I saw him go outside through the doggie door and do his business outside all by himself, and yesterday (Saturday), I left him and Julie inside, with the doggie door unlocked, when I went Christmas Shopping, and 5 hours later I came home to NO messes :-)

So, he has another Vet visit on December 28, to get his second set of distemper shots. He now accepts me putting on his collar, and he walks on the leash mostly following Julie when we go outside on walks, and Julie and he seem to be buddies, so, all in all, Julie seems to have accepted him, and I think he's progressing faster then either Julie or Max did when they were the same age...

Good Doggie :-)

I Love "Chocolate"

2007-12-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

I decided that my Dog Julie needed some company. So please welcome the newest addition to my Family… He is a 17 week old Springer Spaniel. His coat is mostly white, with a Chocolate Brown Head, and Chocolate Brown patches on his body. So naturally I named him….

Chocolate :-)

Australia Day 11 – Sydney

2007-11-09T11:32:00.000-07:00

Day 10 was a travel day to Sydney. We are staying at the Sheraton And this Hotel is the nicest one of all. All decorations seem to either be in marble, or wood. Very nice.

Today, we took a tour of the city sites of Sydney. We went all around town, seeing such sites as the Royal Botanical gardens, Mrs. Macquarie’s Chair and Kings cross. We also took the “Group Photo” at the harbor, with the Opera House behind us. I need to scan it into digital, before I post it on my Photo Web Site.

The best part of the Tour was the Opera House. You may know it as the Sydney structure that looks like sails? It turns out that when they made the original design for the roof, there was actually no way to construct it. In other words, it looked good on paper, but was physically unable to be built! The started construction on the Opera House, with no way to put the roof on! They eventually solved that problem, by using a design, that sliced up a circular ball into sections, and used that as a model. The interior is unique, because in each of the 3 halls, there are no roof support columns to obstruct views, the outer walls of the structure bear the entire weight of the roof! One other super treat, was that there was going to be a symphony concert that night, and when we got to the concert hall, the musicians were tuning up, so we got to hear a demonstration of the outstanding acoustics of the Opera House! Too bad they wouldn’t let us stay for the rehearsal.

Afterwards, we toured famous Bondi beach, which from the stories told, appears to be Australia’s version of Malibu California. You know, beautiful beaches, beautiful people, and multi-million dollar homes? All 3 seemed to be true. Afterwards, we took a harbor cruise, where they served us a buffet lunch, and we got to see a perspective of Sydney not available any other way. That night, the group went dor dinner and drinks, and afterwards, a smaller group of us went out dancing. The vacation is coming to an end, AND I’M NOT READY TO GO. Hummmmm, I wonder what the Semiconductor Engineering Employment situation is like here? Just kidding…… Almost :-)

Australia Day 9 - Cairns - Kurandu

2007-11-06T03:31:00.000-07:00

Today, we took a trip into the mountains above Cairns, to a village called Kurandu. There is a rain forest preserve up there, and the rumour mill had it that it was a place to go. They have this old narrow gauge railroad that was built up into the mountain, way back when gold was discovered in the area. They have restored the railway, and now they run an old time train up there to the rainforest preserve.

We gathered at the station, and took the train into the mountains. Along the way, they tell you the story of how the entire railway was built by hand way back in the early 1800's using pick axe and shovel. It was pretty amazing, because not only were there multiple bridges spanning deep gullies, but there were also 18 tunnels that were dug out of the granite mountain. Try doing that with a pick axe.

When we got to the town,there was a short walk up to the shopping area, where most of the people hung out, but I decided to take my little tourist information map, and go do "The Conservatory Nature Walk", "The Jungle Nature Walk", and "The River Nature Walk". During the walk, I was sort of glad that I did it by myself, since I was able to be really quiet, and saw animals and birds that I most likely would not have seen with a large noisy group.

One of the nice things, was that to get back down the mountain, they had what they called "The Skyrail" It was an overhead cable car system, sort of like those 4 person pods that you see at the ski resorts? Doing it that way, allowed me to get a birds eye view of the mountain rain forest from above the trees,it was VERY cool.

At the bottom, we visited the Aboriginal cultural center for the tribes in the area, The local people put on a dance demonstration of aboriginal dances that was fabulous. Then there were demonstrations of Aboriginal Medicine, and a lesson on how to throw Aboriginal Spears, and Boomerangs.

I said a lesson, because the spear actually has a separate hooked throwing stick device, that hooks into the back end of the spear, then we throwing the spear, you lay the spear across your last three fingers, and grip the spear between your thumb and index finger, and use an overhand throwing motion much like a baseball, snapping your wrist at the point of release, and following through.

After they showed us how to do it, and they threw a couple of spears at the 3 hay bale targets, with the kangaroo paper targets on it, they said "OK, who wants to go first". ARE YOU KIDDING? I jumped up, along with 3 other guys, and we all lined up on the firing line. I was paying real close attention, so I got the throwing stick and the spear set up the way they showed, and aimed t the closest bale, which was about 20 meters away. All I was thinking was.... "Please Please at least just let the spear fly a little ways in the right direction, and also don't let me lose my grip on the throwing stick, hit somebody with it, and embarrass myself". I tried to think about throwing a baseball, with the only difference being the arm follow through goes across your body, and so I whipped my arm overhand, and snapped my wrist on the release and followed through the way they showed. The spear flew through the air, and HIT THE CLOSEST KANGAROO TARGET DEAD CENTER!!! Wow, I couldn't believe it!! Everyone watching behind me from the tour group cheered and clapped, and the rest of the day, the folks were calling me "Spear Chucker Tom", and suggesting that I should hunt for that night's dinner. Oh, but that's not all....

They then took us over to the boomerang throwing, and taught us how to do that, then they gathered us inside this chain link screened in hut, and one by one, we stepped out in front of the shed to throw. For a right handed, you hold the boomerang like a number 7, angle it at about 1:00, and throw across the wind. Again, snapping your wrist at the moment of release. The wind was coming from the North, so the throw direction was east. The first guy tried, but he held his boomerang at 12:00, so it want straight down into the ground. I was up second, and when I lined up and threw, the boomerang flew in a large circular arc, sailed around to my left, and HIT THE SHED RIGHT BEHIND ME with all the other people in it. One of them said, "Hey Tom, what, were you trying to aim at us"? I said..... ummmmmm, yeah, right, that's EXACTLY where I was aiming
:-)

Anyway, after we got back to Cairns, we went out to dinner along the Esplanade, which is the main waterfront drag. They have these fig trees along the promenade, and these giant fruit bats live in the trees, they have wing spans of ~ 1 meter (~3 feet), and they are kind of cool to watch soaring around in the sky with the sun setting behind them, since they stay high in the trees, and don't want to have anything to do with people. I had Filet Mignon Steak, and "Mash" (mashed potatoes) and I drank way too many "VB" (Victoria Bitters) beers......

Man, I'm having a GREAT TIME :-)

Australia Day 8 – Cairns - Great Barrier Reef

2007-11-04T12:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the check out from the Hotel and the flight over to Cairns. There wasn’t much to say really, so I’ll skip that. Our group is staying at the Hilton, which is right on the waterfront. The view from my balcony, is the bay itself. We took a ship out to the Great barrier reef this morning. The ship first stops at a place called Green Island, then we went on to a floating platform that the company has, right on the edge of the Reef. The ship was a large catamaran, so even though it was one of the fastest ships I’ve ever been on, it was also entirely smooth. The ship can hold ~ 350 passengers, and after we dropped off some people 50 minutes into the trip at green Island, there were ~ 200 of us for the remaining 50 minute trip to the reef.

The Reef is Spectacular. I’ve snorkeled in such exotic locations as Martinique, and Cancun, and I use to think that Cancun was the best snorkeling I’ve even done, but this place is FAR superior. We snorkeled around for ~ 2 hours, then we had a buffet lunch spread that was way better then I thought it would be, then there was another hour of snorkeling before we headed back. I have never seen so many different varieties of Coral, displaying varied colors of green blue, purple, orange red, brown, and several more colors I probably forgot. There were also so many fish in the area, that I thought someone must be throwing food into the water. Nope….. These fish seemed to be pretty much oblivious to us. I’m guessing they have seen us “weird” Human type “Fish” previously. The only ones that seemed to pay me any attention were some fish I named Zebra Fish. I’m sure that wasn’t their real name, but they were snow white, with vertical black stripes, and several of them swam up to me when I snorkeled by and they seemed to be curious more then anything. It was GREAT.

That night we dined at a restaurant called "Rattle 'N" Hum", it was great. You chose your meal from the menu, then went up to the counter where you ordered, they gave you a small pager, and when your meal was ready, you went back and picked it up. From what I’ve heard, this was the happening restaurant in cairns, and the food was delicious. One unusual thing, was the men’s toilet. Yeah, in Australia, they don’t call it a “men’s Room” or a “Bathroom”, it’s a toilet. The doors to the toilets said “Chicks” and “Blokes”. Yes, I figured it out. The urinals were the troughs that I’ve seen around here instead of the individual ones more common in the states, but the unusual thing was, that there was what at first appeared to be a Fish Tank in front of the urinal, with glass, water and plants, until I looked closer…… The toilet room was dimly lit, as well as the restaurant, and when I looked closer through the tank I could see……. Our table in the restaurant. One of the women who suggested I should “Check out the “Unusual” Men’s Toilet” waved at me! Of course, me being the NOT shy person that I am, I waved back. I don’t think anyone could really see much anyway due to the dim lighting :-)

Anyway, that woman at our table, and of course the entire table, thought it was hilarious, and hey, I can take a joke as well as anyone else. Apparently most of the table of 10 or so people had previous knowledge about the men’s toilet “unusual design”, except me of course, so the whole table had a great laugh at my expense, until……. That same woman asked me if I liked the view I gave everyone, and I said…… “It didn’t matter, because that window WASN’T LONG ENOUGH ANYWAY”.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

There’s an old saying…… He who laughs last, laughs best. And I didn’t really mind at all having the last laugh, along with the rest of the table :-)

Australia Day 6 - Outback – Ayers Rock (Uluru) Part 2

2007-11-03T08:05:00.000-07:00

Today, we went back to Uluru, to do the 2 hiking trails around the rock. Since it had rained yesterday, and early this morning, the climbing path to the top was closed due to slippery rock. Looking up at the climb, I’m not sure that I would have done it anyway, since the incline appeared to be steep, in excess of 15 deg angle, and there was a chain rail imbedded in the rock to pull yourself up, so it wouldn’t have been an easy climb to begin with.

The day was slightly overcast, with occasional breaks in the clouds to let the sun through, but the rain mostly stayed away today. One very good thing about the overcast clouds, is that it kept the temperatures very cool, and mostly kept the flies away. One thing I did not mention, is that this area around Uluru has a high infestation of insect flies. I even took our tour guide recommendation, and purchased a fly net, that is like a fine screen net hood, that you slip over your hat and head, and it has an elastic at the base that makes it snug around your neck. This at least prevents the flies from your face, and out of your eyes and ears. There were still quite a few flies around, and since our guide said they were limited in number due to the cool temperatures, I would not like to see what the numbers would be like when they are numerous.

After that, we went to the Uluru-Kata Tjuta Cultural Center, which has lots of information and museum telling the stories of the local Aboriginal people in the area. It also has the normal gift shop to purchase a type of art work the Aboriginals call Dot Painting. They can make elaborate paintings, by using a small brush, and painting just dots very close together to make the pictures. There were even 8 Aboriginals sitting on the floor in various areas of the center actually doing the painting. I couldn’t get any pictures, because taking photos of these Aboriginals is forbidden by the Aboriginal tribe. Something about capturing their souls.

Of course, there is always somebody who can’t follow instructions, and there was a big controversy when a German tourist tried to take their picture. All of the aboriginals started yelling and screaming at her, and although I don’t understand aborigine I can pretty much guess what they were saying wasn’t nice. Their tour guide rushed out of the shop, and they took away her camera, and erased the picture in front of the Aborigines, to show them. They waved their arms indicating that the tourist should leave, and she was made to go back to her bus. I gathered she claimed that she didn’t know, but our guide mentioned the no pictures rule at least 5 times, and there are signs everywhere with a picture of a camera, with a red circle around it, and a red line through that camera, so I’m not sure how she would not have known. I felt a little sorry for her, but hey, my feeling is that this is their country, and if they have some rules, then the guest should follow those rules.

After lunch, we went to visit another set of rock formations called The Olgas (Kata Tjuta). This is a formation of 36 massive rock domes, that to me was more impressive then Uluru. It had rained again, and so there were waterfalls coming off the rocks, and apparently this is so rare to see this, then even our Tour Guide was taking pictures. Then we went over to the bus viewing area, to view the sunset, and we had another Champagne party while we watched the clouds form around the top of Kata Tjuta, while the sunset made beautiful rays through the cloud openings. Afterwards, there was a buffet dinner included.

Tomorrow, we fly off to Cairns, and The Great Barrier Reef.

Australia Day 5 - Outback – Ayers Rock (Uluru)

2007-11-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a 4.5 hour bus ride from Alice Springs to Ayers Rock, which the local Aboriginal people call Uluru. One of the things that really strikes me about the Outback, is the color of the dirt. It’s Sedona Red. Yes, right, just like the colors of the dirt and rock formations in Sedona Arizona. As a matter of fact, the Outback countryside looks allot like Sedona, except there’s no Saguaro Cactus. Otherwise, it would be almost identical.

One of the things they warned us about, was that the Outback this time of year was “Dry And Hot”. Of course I asked “How Hot”? Do you want to hear something funny? They think that 95F is hot! Hehehehehehe, in Arizona, in the summertime, we call that “A Cool Summer Day”. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter, because since this morning when we headed out for Uluru, it’s been raining. Yup, that’s right, what was supposed to be the hottest part of the trip, instead is rain. Fortunately, it is only raining off and on, and it seems to stop raining every time we stop. Lucky huh?

Anyway, we made our first rest stop ~ 2 hours into the 4.5 hour bus trip, and it was at a Camel Farm. Yup, I said camel, you know, those desert animals with the hump? Guess what? For $5.00, they offered a 5 minute camel ride, and you know me, if there’s a new experience to be had, I’m going to do it. So, now instead of Tom, you can call me Camel Jockey. It was kind of fun, and I got a friend to take lots of pictures, so you’ll probably have the opportunity to have good laugh when I post them at the end of the trip.

Uluru was fantastic, even though we didn’t get to see the planned sunset over the rock. It’s hard to have a sunset, when there’s no sun. However, it stopped raining again, just when we got to the site, so the tour guide and bus driver went ahead and set up our Champagne and snack party that we had scheduled, and we all had a toast to the rock. It was still fun.

Afterwards we visited this restaurant for dinner, where you pick out what meat you want from a display, Beef, Chicken, prawns, Fish, and then you go over to where they have this long line of Grills et up, and you grill it yourself! The dinner included corn on the cob, and baked potato, so I threw the corn and potato on the grill and roasted them too! Along with the grilled onions, and salad bar, it was a great dinner, not to mention the musician who played guitar for dinner entertainment. I must admit, that along with the champagne, and the beer that I drank at dinner and afterwards, this was one of the times I was glad that there was a free shuttle bus transportation back to my room :-)

Tomorrow we go Hiking around Uluru. Weather permitting, of course.

Australia Day 4 - Outback – Alice Springs

2007-11-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

This morning, we departed Melbourne Airport, on our way to central Australia, otherwise known as “The Outback” It was a 2 hour flight, but due to the time changes, I rolled back my watch 1.5 hours, so we landed only 0.5 hour after takeoff. One thing I need to watch, my primary luggage bag weight is now 31 Kilos, and the maximum bag weight is 32 kilos (whew). I think that I’m going to need to dump some of those hotel soaps and shampoo tubes I’ve been “acquiring”
:-)

Alice Springs itself is quite a bit more modern then I expected. With a population of ~25K, they have a large mall, and even a K-Mart! There is quite a large Aboriginal population, and one thing that I couldn’t help noticing, is that hair dyeing appears to be quite popular among the local people. The aboriginal people are quite dark skinned, and it was shocking to me at first to see blonde haired Aboriginals! I thought maybe it was some sort of genetic thing at first, but you know how it’s difficult to achieve natural looking red hair color with dye? It’s a dead give away on the Aboriginal people too :-)

We had a little free time to wander around the town of Alice Springs, and they have all the usual stuff you would expect, like a McDonalds and a KFC Chicken place. One interesting thing, is that they have Burger King here, but it’s called Hungry Jack’s. The restaurant colors and corporate symbols are identical, so I know it’s the same burger place. The story goes, is that before Burger King came to Australia, someone registered that name, hoping to squeeze BK for lots of money when they got here. In the USA, that’s called extortion, and Since BK refused to pay ransom for the name, they simply changed the name, and the person who registered it, ended up with nothing. Good.

Anyway, the tour today, was visits to the Alice Springs Historic Telegraph Station, which use to provide telegraph communications signal boosting from the mainland, that was very interesting, and also to the Royal Flying Doctors Station, which provides doctors and medical treatment to fly to remote areas of the Outback that don’t have Hospitals, as well as the “School Of The Air”, which provides Streamed Satellite Classroom Education instruction for children of people in remote areas. They have live interactive classroom education, where the remote students CAN Log in and have 2 way communication with the Teachers. Pretty Cool, huh? We also visited Anzac Hill, which provided panoramic views of the area.

That night, I attended a show of Aboriginal Dancing, and dinner, which if it were Hawaii, would be similar to a Luau. There was a huge 3 course dinner and during the show, they asked for male volunteers to demonstrate their “ability” at making music on the traditional horn called a didgeridoo. Guess who was one of the people who went up on stage (hehehe). You know me, I’m not shy, and after a short demonstration of how to do it, the 3 of us each took turns. It was hilarious, since we were amateurs, we sort of sounded like sick elephants :-) When they asked the audience to clap for each “performer”, I’m pretty sure I got the biggest applause, and no, it had noting to do with the dozen or so other people present at the show from my tour group. Anyway, that’s my story, and I’m sticking to it
:-)

Tomorrow, off to Ayers Rock (Uluru).

Australia Day 3 - Melbourne

2007-10-30T03:53:00.000-07:00

Day 3 in Melbourne was a free day, so since I had seen most of the city on day 2, I signed up for another optional tour of The Great Ocean Road. Near Melbourne, they have something similar to California’s Pacific Coast Highway, which is a roadway cut into the cliffs along the coast, which gives spectacular views of the Ocean, and scenery near the coastline.

We started off down to the town of Torquay, which apparently Australia’s Surfing capital. We had late morning tea time, and then went down to Bells Beach, which is the Surfer hang out, and watched the surfers wipe out in the water.

We traveled along the road for most of the day, stopping at sandy beaches, and shear cliffs, visiting the coastal towns of Anglesea, Lorne, and Wye River. We stopped at Cape Patton Lookout, and it is amazing to see how the power of ocean water can carve into solid rock over decades. We stopped for lunch at the town of Apollo Bay, and since I wasn’t hungry, I wandered around the town, and bumped into friends and we went down to walk around on the beach.

The next stop, was a place they call The Twelve Apostles. It is an area, where the water has carved into the cliffs, and eventually has worn away portions of the cliffs, so that towers of rock are standing alone on the beaches after being worn away, and surrounded by the water.

We also visited a place they call “London Bridge”, and natural bridge created by the pounding surf. The story goes, that part of the bridge fell down, creating an island outcropping, and when it happened a man and women were out on the tip and stranded there. They had to be rescued by helicopter, and the story made all the local newspapers, when it was discovered that the couple were married….. to other people! We had a great tour guide, and he knew quite a bit about the area, and similar stories, so it was great tour. I took a bunch of pictures, which I’ll post on my photo web page once I get back to the US.

Tomorrow, we fly off to the Alice Springs, in the Outback. Stay Tuned!

Australia Day 2 – Melbourne

2007-10-30T03:51:00.000-07:00

So, dinner on the first night was uneventful, since I was so tired after that long flight, that after the welcome cocktail party, I had dinner with a nice couple John and Peggy, in the Hotel’s restaurant. It was an excellent steak, and potato dish. I went to bed shortly after dinner, after I wrote my Flight to Melbourne BLOG.

Monday October 30, there was a free Buffet breakfast in the Hotel restaurant, that was excellent. After breakfast, there was a prearranged tour of Melbourne, where they loaded us up on a bus, and we went around the city touring the sights, and stopping at locations including Saint Paul’s Cathedral, Parliament House, The Shrine Of Remembrance to Australia’s Soldiers who died in wars, as well as The Botanical gardens, and Fitzroy Gardens where we walked around the Conservatory and just hung out in the Park, so to speak.

The great thing, was that they gave us a city map, so I was able to get my bearings for later free time on my own. During the City Tour, they showed us the Financial district, as well as Melbourne’s China Town, and the Shopping District. One thing that they have well developed, is the mass Transit System. They have street level Light Rail, which most people call “Trams”, and they go all over the city, so there’s no need to have a car. Parking would be difficult and expensive anyway.

The tour was ½ day, so I had several hours of free time. It turns out the shopping district was only ~ a 10 minute walk from the Hotel, so I went down there, and had a nice café lunch at tables set up on the sidewalk, and I spent awhile people watching the lunchtime crowd. I purchased a couple of souvenirs, and did the typical picture taking tourist thing. I made my way back to the Hotel to clean up before Monday night’s main even…… The Parade Of The Penguins.

This was an optional side trip I signed up for. It turns out, that the Southern side of Australia is the mating grounds for the worlds smallest Penguins, and this is their mating season. Early in the morning, they leave their boroughs dug in the sand around Phillip Island, and head out to sea to feed. Well just after sundown, they come back to shore in groups, and march up the beach all laden with partially digested fish, which they regurgitate for their young. The Government has set up a Park ranger station, and built viewing platforms on the beach, and so you can sit on the edge of the beach, and watch hundreds of penguins come out of the water and march up the beach to their “homes”.

They showed us a DVD video on the way to the island, so we would have some pre-information. The average “Small Penguin” (that’s actually their official name) is ~ 33cm tall, and weighs 1 Kilo. By the way, do you notice how I’m becoming acclimated to Australian metric measurements? No Inches and Pounds for me while I’m here :-) Anyway, the penguins also march along the boardwalk that I walked down to get to the beach, and while I was standing on the rail, this one penguin stopped, stared into the bushes, then he folded his flippers back and started calling out. How did I know it was a “he” and not a “she”? I’m glad you asked. A minute later, a slightly smaller penguin came out of the bushes and started calling back! Oh, but there’s more….. Just then another slightly smaller penguin came around the corner, and started yelling at the first penguin. I figured it was yelling, because that penguin and the first one suddenly rushed at each other and they started fighting with each other!!!

The first penguin was a little larger, and very shortly chased the second penguin away, then HE, and the SHE who came out of the bushes…… Ummmmm….. Well, there’s no other way to put it….. they mated….. right in front of me. How did I know? Did I mention they showed us Penguin video on the way to the island? Now, I’m no Penguin expert, but it sure looked like it did on the video. Then they sat there for a minute, walked a little way, and did it again! There were a few people standing near me, and I don’t know what it is, but I seem to attract comedians, because one of the people said “Damn, at least he could get a private room or something”, and I couldn’t help myself, and so I said….. “Yeah, or at least he could have given her some fish first” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, everyone burst out laughing, and it was a great moment. I’ll never forget it. They don’t allow picture taking, even without flash, because it stresses out the birds, but I purchased 3 professionally taken pictures they had for sale at the visitors center, which I’ll scan into digital when I get home.

Great first day in Australia, Eh Mate?

Australia – Day 1 Liftoff

2007-10-28T11:49:00.000-07:00

As many of you may know, I’m on my 2 month paid sabbatical from work, and that one of the things I’ve been fond of is spending my vacations traveling. This sabbatical trip, is to someplace I’ve always wanted to go. Australia. I’m going to be visiting4 cities in 14 days, Melbourne, Alice Springs, Cairns, and finishing up in Sydney. This first report, is the trip from Phoenix Az, USA to Los Angeles, then on to Melbourne. Total Flight Time; PHX to LAX: 52 Minutes, LAX to MEL: 15.5 Hours.

The Super shuttle showed up on time, at 4:00pm for the 6:10pm flight to LAX, unfortunately, the flight was delayed until 6:50pm. Good thing I got here early. I spent my wait in the Chili’s Restaurant bar, and a quesadilla and 2 Corona’s later, I wasn’t bothered by the wait at all.

Guess who was on my PHX to LAX flight? MIKE TYSON! Yup, the boxer, and get this….. He was flying COACH! I guess the old boxing game doesn’t pay like it use to (hehehehe). I didn’t notice it was him when I boarded, but the guy in the window seat whispered it to me, so naturally, I “faked” having to go to the bathroom in the first class section, and sure enough, on the way back, that face, and that tattoo around the left eye was unmistakable.

The wait for the 747 flight from LAX to MEL was a bit longer (3.5 hours), but with the additional International customs inspections, I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t rushed. Plus, it turns out, that the LAX International Terminal has free wireless internet access, so it wasn’t so bad a wait.

The flight was pretty full, and although the aircraft had individual screens for each seat, with lots of movies, and television shows that you can call up, there’s NO WAY a 15.5 Hours flight is going to be comfortable. Plus, I don’t sleep well on airplanes. Even taking a couple of non-prescription melatonin tablets (sleep inducers) didn’t help at all. By the way, melatonin is the chemical your brain secretes to induce sleep.

Because of crossing the International dateline, and the 16 hour time difference between PHX and MEL, we landed at 9:15am on Sunday, MEL time, even though I took off the previous Friday at 6:50pm PHX time. The Sofitel Hotel is really nice, even though we were a bit early to get our rooms, so we went and had a late morning snack at a local authentic Australian restaurant….. McDonalds. Hey, there wasn’t much choice, since for some reason, many of the cafes in MEL are closed on Sunday Morning. Don’t know why, since in PHX everything is open during that time.

Anyway, like I figured, the Sofitel Hotel is 4 star, on the level of the Hilton, so it’s pretty much what I expected. I just finished my first shower in ~36 hours, and I’m sitting here in a genuine “Sofitel Hotel” thick cotton robe (classy, huh?) it is 4:50pm, and we have our Welcome To The Tour, and meet the Tour Director, and the other tourists Cocktail Party at 6:00pm, so I better get dressed. Dinner afterwards is on our own, and I’ve already met several of the other tour participants, so, I would say “so far, so good”. I’ll write more after we tour Melbourne tomorrow. So, for now, all I can say is.....

G-Day Mate :-)

Win Some..... Lose Some

2007-07-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

Fruit Farmer Tom suffered a setback recently. Even if you've been following my SOL blogging stories, concerning my efforts to grow fruit trees in the back yard, you still might not know, that this year's "Estimated Harvest", total was, the Nectarine Bush sprouted 3, the Apple Tree Sprouted 8, and the Orange Tree...... Zip. (Sigh).

Unfortunately, I wasn't counting on those large Black Birds that hang out around here during migration (see BLOG: http://tomh7259.blogspot.com/2006/02/what-is-this-hitchcock-movie.html ). setting up nests in the neighbours tree. Turns out, that my estimated Nectarine Harvest (Mid July) almost exactly coincided with the fledgling of Black Bird Chicks. I thought the first fruit ruined was maybe from bugs, but when the second and third were destroyed, I noticed "Beak Damage". Those cone shaped punctures couldn't be anything else.

So, my First Crop was destroyed. Well....... Not exactly. See, the birds destroyed the "top" of the fruit. There wasn't anything wrong with the bottom of the fruit. WHAT? did you think I coached that fruit tree for 4 months, just to toss that fruit without even a taste? Hey, those fruits were only a couple of weeks to harvest, and would have made a GREAT Birthday (July 2) present for myself. So, I couldn't resist. I cut away the top half of the fruits, and ate the bottoms. MAN, I'm not just saying it because I grew it, but that fruit was so sweet, it was almost TOO sweet. Another couple of weeks growth would have been perfect.

Annnnyyyyway, The good news is, my Fuji Apple Tree DOES NOT need a different apple tree nearby to pollinate it. Turns out, Fuji Trees are self-fruiting. The 8 apples weren't touched by the birds, and now the largest ones are larger than golf balls, and bordering on baseballs. I estimate the harvest will be mid-September. I'm really starting to believe that I'll get to prove to those naysayers that yes, it really IS POSSIBLE, to grow apples in Arizona! Ya see what a person can do, when they don't listen to the Doubting Thomas' :-)

So, since I wasn't expecting the Nectarine to sprout, The "Apple Tree Idea" is "bearing fruit" (OK, enough with the plant jokes) and that Navel Orange Tree is entering it's 4th year, so it BETTER give me oranges this year..... Or ELSE. Yes, I would have to say, that all in all, Tom's Fruit Growing Empire is off to a solid start. Hey, don't laugh, Dole, and Del Monte had to start somewhere :-)

When You're Hot, You're Hot. When You're Not, You're Not.

2007-06-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

I had an interesting experience this past Monday, one that I have not had the "pleasure" (cough) to experience in almost 3 decades. I got to take a cold shower.

No, it wasn't because I saw some hot babe somewhere, get you mind out of the gutter, besides, there's only room for my mind down there (hehe). What happened was, I wasn't intending on taking a cold shower, it just worked out that way. There I was, just taking my normal morning shower, prior to trudging... I mean, going off to work, and so I turned on the faucet, and gave it the customary 1 minute for the hot water to travel from the water heater in the garage to the back of the house, then I stepped in.

YEOW!! Cold shower (burrrr), no hot water, at all. Actually, it was more like a "cool" shower, since there's no such thing as getting cold water from a faucet in Arizona in the summertime. Thing is, it was definitely not Hot. I still need to shower though, so there was no choice. Ahhhhh nothing like a cold shower, I haven't had to take one of those, since my USMC Boot Camp days, when my Drill Instructors use to amuse themselves by turning off the hot water in the middle of the platoon shower time. Funny guys huh? At the time, I remember thinking of other names to call them, but I think I'll keep those to myself.

Anyway, afterwards, I went out to the Garage, and discovered a puddle at the base of the electric water heater, and when I opened the panel, I discovered water had leaked out of the tank, into the space where the heaters were, and I smelled burnt electrical. I've smelled that smell quite a few times in my electronics career, and it's never good news. same thing this time.

I was going to leave it for the weekend, but the slowly expanding water puddle didn't make that idea appealing, so I called the plumber, and they sent somebody over. I wasn't expecting a 3 day weekend, however, sitting around waiting for him to arrive wasn't exactly how I planned to spend my Monday. When he got there, it was pretty much what I figured, can't be fixed, need to be replaced. I guess I could have gone the cheap way, and gone to the warehouse store, bought one, got it delivered, do the brazing to swap it out, haul the old one to the dump, be without hot water for several days.... blah blah blah blah blah....

Or, since he had a replacement water heater on the truck (what a coincidence, eh?), I could just have him do it, and be done with it. Guess what I did? If you said, go the cheap way..... buuuuzzzzzz, wrong answer. The old financially impoverished Tom might have gone that route, but the current... "I don't even want to clean my house, so I pay somebody to do it" Tom went with the "do it now and be done with it", route.

Yeah yeah, I know, throw my money away, but you know what? SO WHAT. I didn't bust my ass all these years to become financially independent, so that I would run around counting every little red cent. I did it, so that I wouldn't have to waste my time doing things I don't want to do, when I can pay someone else to do it for me. I'm sure that many others would have gone the "do it yourself" route, and save some money..... Good for them. That's why I'm glad I live in America, where everyone can do what they want, as long as it doesn't hurt someone else.

Besides, in the end, I didn't have to get my hands dirty, and that new water heater really pumps out the hot water. I took and extra long shower on Tuesday morning, and in my opinion, that was worth every penny :-)

Gasoline May Go To $4.00 A Gallon..... YAY!

2007-06-01T13:04:00.000-07:00

Did you hear the news? Many experts expect gasoline to average $4.00 per gallon by this summer. Isn't that GREAT? What? You don't like high gas prices? Are you thinking that nobody should like high gas prices? Maybe Tom is crazy to want higher gas prices? Yeah, I'm crazy all right.... Crazy like a fox.

Ya see, way way back when, oh around the year 2000, right after George W. Bush got elected the first time, I was watching this news program on TV. I don't remember which program, or the the exact title, of the story, but it was something like "Oil And The Administration". I don't want to go into heavy detail about the whole thing, but I remember the central theme was, The Bush Administration is up to it's eyeballs in oil.

They said.... "George Bush is a former Oil Man, Dick Cheney is a former Oil Man, The Energy Secretary is a former Oil Man, Condoleza Rich sits on the Board of Directors of Chevron Oil Company" JEEEZ...... So I said to myself, "Gee, I wonder what industry is going to do well under this Administration? Hummmm..... Let me think...... Ummmmmm The Oil Industry, Maybe?

I remember when the commercial came on, I jumped up, and literally RAN over the computer, dumped most of my current holdings in that semiconductor company I owned, and invested thousands.... and thousands..... and thousands..... and thousands (Did I Mention thousands) of dollars in the biggest Oil Company on the planet..... Exxon Mobil Oil Company.

So, just as an FYI, in the year 2000 when I originally bought it, Exxon Mobil (XOM) was selling for about $40.00 per share. Wanna know what it is today? Go Look: http://finance.yahoo.com/q/bc?s=XOM&t=my $84.00 when I just looked. Pretty sweet huh? More than doubling my money in 7 years. I'd say +100% return on investment is a pretty good showing, since that's a little over +14% per year. Remind me, what are Bank Savings Accounts paying on interest these days? 1% per year? Less?

Of course at the time, I didn't count on ole George W. starting 2 wars in the Middle East. That was just lucky. What? Does that sound callous? Maybe so, but don't blame me, I voted for the other guy..... twice. You people put him in there, and sent him back there again, not me, so if you wanna blame somebody, blame yourself . I'm simply taking advantage of the situation someone else created. And I'm not sorry about raking in all that cash, not one bit. Besides, I served my country as a member of the United States Marine Corps for 6 years. How about you?

Anyway, since ole George W. and Congress for that matter, seems content to continue things as they are, I expect that I will continue to feather my nest egg for at least the rest of this Administration, and let me tell you something else. If ole George W. does what I'm expecting, or John McCain wins, and goes ahead with his "Bomb Bomb Bomb Iran" plan, if you think paying $4.00 per gallon is bad, just wait until you're paying around $10.00 per gallon.

Of course, if that happens, I just might end up becoming a Millionaire. Poor me :-)

Fruit Farmer Tom

2007-05-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm A Fruit Farmer.... I'm a Fruit Farmer.... Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah.

So, if you've been following my past attempts to grow fruit trees in my back yard, you will know that I seem to have had little success with my Orange Tree, nectarine tree (bush?) and my apple tree. Right, I said apple. I know, I know, everyone says that you can't grow apples in Arizona. Well, I don't follow the crowd, I lead it :-)

Besides, I already proved them wrong. Right now, I have my first "sprouts" growing in Tom's Future Fruit Farming Corporation. My Apple Tree sprouted a bunch of flowers a few months ago, and now I have ~ 1/2 dozen little green apples. OK, they'll probably not develop into real apples, because everyone tells me that you need 2 apple trees to cross pollinate, and they have to be different species.... blah blah blah, boring explanation. Bottom line is, that the "Apple Experts" say my green apples won't develop. I say, so what. The tree still looks cool in the back yard.

The real deal, is the Nectarines. For those that don't know this fruit, it looks like, and tastes like a peach, only with a smooth skin. The fruit is also a little crisper then a peach, and I actually prefer them to peaches. I wasn't supposed to get any blooms or fruit from this plant, being it's only year # 2 since I planted it, and as any good fruit farmer will tell you, you don't get any fruit until year # 3. That's if you follow the crowd wisdom, I mean. I Don't, of course.

Even though my nectarine bush is only ~ 4 feet tall, this year it bloomed like a madman, and I actually now have developing fruit, about the size of golf balls. YAY. OK, it's really only 3 fruits, but hey, even Dole and Chiquita had to start somewhere, right? Hummmm, that just made me think of something..... Bananas..... That's a tropical fruit that grows well in hot weather, doesn't it? I wonder.........

Tom's Arizona Banana Company Inc..... It has kind of a nice ring to it, don't you think? :-)

Snakes In The Grass

2007-04-10T18:08:00.001-07:00

Some friends and I went overnight camping again, over the Easter Weekend at Bartlett Lake. I like going up there, because it is only about 1 hour drive from my house, but the area is so different from around here, that it feels like a different world. Plus, you don’t need to make any sort of reservations. Just pay your $6.00 per day for a “Tonto National Forrest Parking Pass”, and set up your camp in any of the open cove areas around the lake.

I also got a chance to try out my new tent. It’s a 4 person Coleman, and I practiced putting it up in the back yard before I went up there, so I got it up in about 10 minutes. Boy, technology sure has progressed since my Boy Scout days, where it took 4 of us more then ½ hour to put up a tent.

It was a good turn out, about 12 people showed up, so we had a major spread out campsite. We of course use the “Propane Method” of cooking, so we were able to do steaks, instead of the standard Hamburger & Hot Dog thing. Ahhhhhh, nothing like camping out in luxury. A couple of people brought their boats, so we got the opportunity to cruise around the lake, and I even went swimming this time. MAN that lake water is COLD (burrrr).

I also got a chance to see something that I’ve heard and read about since I moved to Arizona 12 years ago, but never seen in real life. Saturday morning, I was up a little early, and the sun had come up a little while before I woke up, so after throwing more wood in the fire pit, dousing it with charcoal lighter, and getting the fire started….. What, did you think I did the kindling and paper fire starting? Silly person, that’s what they make charcoal lighter for :-)

Anyway, after I started the fire, I took the little stroll up the hill to the bathroom to clean up. The path from the campsite went through this area where the shrubs were pretty well overgrown, and on the way back, out of the corner of my eye to the right, I saw movement on the ground and heard what sounded like…. A baby rattle.

SHOOT! Talk about scaring the piss out of someone. I’m no Olympic Athlete, but I jumped sideways so fast, that I might have won the Gold Medal for sideways jumping, if there was such a thing. When I looked over, what was staring at me, while slithering around at the base of the bush was…. A Rattlesnake.

Oh baby, I don’t mean just any old rattlesnake, oh no. I recognized this one immediately, because I just happened to read the Snake Information Board at the Ranger Station while I was waiting for him to get off the phone to purchase my parking pass. This little baby I was facing, with it’s distinctive diamond pattern on it’s back, and the stripes on it’s head, and tail, made it was easy to identify as….. A Western Diamondback Rattlesnake… http://www.desertusa.com/mag01/jan/papr/rsnake.html

There it was, about 15 feet from me, and Boy this thing must have been pissed off at being disturbed too, because it slithered sideways, which I didn’t know they could do, while it’s head faced directly at me, while it shook it’s rattle at me. It must have been pretty young though, because although it was hard to tell with it curled, it was probably “only” about 2-3 feet long, and when it’s rattle stopped shaking every few seconds, I counted maybe 5-7 segments.

Well, I got the “Rattle Message” BIG TIME. Talk about freezing, I made like Mr. Statue Man, for maybe 30 seconds, before it decided to slither away into the bushes. WHEW! Talk about your adrenaline rush, eh? The only thing I regret, is that I didn’t have a camera, so I could have pictures. Oh well…. I know what I saw, and although it’s not something I care to repeat anytime soon, it’s something I’ll never forget. Just call me, Snake Man :-)

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

2007-03-22T13:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve been parking in a different parking lot at work lately, and recently, I noticed something unusual in the landscaped area between the parking lots. There were these shaded box type structures, surrounded by water bowls, and what looked like containers of…. Kitty Litter.

Closer examination of some of the structures revealed live animal traps. You know, those kind designed to trap animals without hurting them? Also, several of the bowls that I thought were for water contained…. Cat Food.

It was kind of puzzling, until I heard about “The Program”. It turns out, that the companies campus here, with it’s multitude of shade, available water, and small rodent and bird population, has developed into a sort of oasis in the desert. But the oasis, is not just an oasis for lizards, rodents, and birds, but it also seems to have attracted a growing stray cat population. To be honest, I have noticed several of them running around the campus.

Further investigation revealed that while I saw a few of them, there apparently is quite a few that I wasn’t seeing. So much so, that it had become a problem. So, in order to combat the issue, the “pet lovers” society on campus, with the support of the company, had set out these food/water and traps around the campus, and when they trap a cat, they spay/neuter them, and release them back out onto the campus.

Huh? Yeah, I know, I was a little confused at that too. At first I thought, why not just trap them, and turn them over to the Humane Society, somebody will adopt them, problem solved, right?

Nope.

See, there’s a problem. While some of these cats may have originally been domesticated, after living out in the wild for awhile, or even some of them being born wild, they are known as “ferrel cats”, which makes them VERY hard, or impossible to tame, or domesticate. In other words, Not Adoptable. So, in case you are not aware of what happens to animals turned over to the Humane Society (ASPCA to some of you) that are not adoptable, well, let’s just say that their prospects of a long life, are not good.

So, the alternative that the company came up with, was to spay/neuter them, making the cats sterile, and in that way, use the inability to reproduce as a way to arrest the growing population, and eventually (hopefully) reverse the growth and bring it under control. Now, some may think, releasing a cat back out onto the campus is still a cruel thing to do, but to be honest, the cats that I’ve seen running around don’t seem to be in ill health, starving or in distress. I’ve noticed there does not seem to be any lack of shelter, food or water available for them.

Certainly the Large Grey Cat that seems to have taken a liking to staring me down from his (her?) “post” by the food/water bowls and shelter, which is near my parking space, would be regarded as a fine feline specimen in any cat lovers book, I have a feeling that the “campus cats” aren’t “suffering” too much, and since the alternative, which by the way would have been easier and cheaper for the company, would almost certainly result in euthanasia, I think that the company actually made a more “Humane” choice, to deal with the problem, then they could have, or most companies would have.

Here Kitty Kitty Kitty :-)

Hey Buddy, Can You Spare An Orange?

2007-02-05T13:38:00.000-07:00

When is an orange not an orange? When it’s a popsicle. Believe it or not, around here a few weeks ago, we had frost. Yup, at least I think that’s what they call it when dew freezes on the ground and every horizontal surface….. frost….. right? The reason I seem so confused, is because as you may well know if you’re a long time reader, I happen to live in a US location known as The Sonoran Desert. Around here, there’s a joke about the weather… While most places have 4 seasons of weather, we have 2...... Hot….. and REALLY Hot :-)

A few years ago, I planted a Navel Orange Tree in the back yard. You see, Citrus happens to grow really well around here, as long as you remember to water the Citrus Tree of course. Well, this was the 3rd year after the planting, so I was hoping to get some fruit this year. No such luck. Although, if I did get any fruit, it would have been ruined during the several days of below freezing temps we had this year.

I should have know there was trouble the day I went out to drive to work, and I noticed “Fog” on the windshield of my truck that I drive to work. The truck stays out on the driveway, so sometimes it gathers fog. So, I did what I normally do, turn on the wipers, and spray the windshield cleaner. So I throw the wiper switch and….. nothing. No wiper movement at all. The windshield spritzer worked, so I got out to see if I could move the wipers, and they were frozen to the windshield. WHEW, talk about your Jack Frost, eh?

So, anyway, my friend “BP” and his wife “BP” (WOW, same initials) had planted their Orange tree a year earlier then mine, and I was pretty jealous to see theirs sprouting all those little oranges this year. Of course, now what they have is Orange Popsicles instead. Not that I’m taking any perverted joy in that or anything….. MWWWAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAA….

Whew..... Ummmmm, sorry, I lost it for a second. Actually, I better be nice, although the oranges they “use to have” are no longer edible as oranges, I heard that the Florida Orange growers are not throwing away their frozen oranges, but instead, they are turning them into…… Orange Juice. Did I mention that I happen to have a Black And Decker motorized orange juice maker? I wonder what BP & BP are doing with their popsicles...... Umm I mean their Oranges :-)

Happy Anniversary.... To Me

2007-01-03T16:16:00.000-07:00

Guess What? Today is my Anniversary. No, not that one, I mean my Employment Anniversary. Specifically, I have now been with my same company for 14 years! WHEW, incredible huh? You would think so, if you knew, that the previous former record for me staying with one company was 6 years….. And that was when I was a US Marine, so that time, I didn’t have much choice.

What makes this a special thing, is a policy that my company has for every employee that has worked for the company for 7 years, or 14, or 21 etc etc etc. Every 7 years, every employee is entitled to a sabbatical, which is 2 Months off….. with pay. Yup, Yup, that’s right, no working, and you get paid anyway, and your job is guaranteed to be there when you get back.

Sweet huh? Even better, if you have enough vacation time stored up, you can extend it to 3 months off. Why would they do this? Some people around here say that after driving you crazy for 7 years, they need to give you that time off, so that you won’t quit. Maybe so, maybe not, but I have to say that, as you can see, it has kept me around for more than twice as long as any other job.

In any case, I now have a 1 year to take the sabbatical, but that could be extended to 2 years with approval from my Manager. I haven’t decided yet whether to extend it, but at this point, I don’t see any reason to delay. I just haven’t decided exactly what date this year to start it, but I know what I’m planning to do….. International Travel.

See, when I was growing up, my family really didn’t have much money, so I never went out of the country, until after I got out of the Military. Shoot, the first time I ever even flew on an airplane was the one that I took down to Paris Island when I went to Boot Camp, and there’s NO WAY anybody would call those 3 Months of Living Hell a vacation. Since then though, I’ve made up for it in a big way.

My 7th year Sabbatical, I spent 11 days touring Italy, then 11 Days touring Germany. It was right after the Berlin wall fell down, so Not only was it a great experience to see all the art and culture of Italy, but I also got a chance to do a direct comparison between Democratic and Communist lifestyles. So not only did I improve myself culturally, I also got a chance to improve myself intellectually. OK, I admit it…. I also partied my ass off the whole trip.

Since a “Double Trip” was so successful last time, I’m thinking of going that way again. No, not back to Italy and Germany, but I have tentatively identified 2 locations that I’m strongly considering. First…. Australia. I’ve always wanted to go “Down Under”, and I’ve been looking around the Web to identify Australian Resorts. That’s right, I said resorts. I’m not planning on sleeping in any tents in the bush, so to speak, I’m more of a “4 star” type of vacationer these days.

The second, was an idea that I got from someone else…… Alaska. The plan, is to fly up to Southern Alaska, and take a cruise north. Then when I get to Northern Alaska, and I know all the cool places from the cruise trip, rent a car, and drive back down to southern Alaska, to the cruises origin point. In that way, I can stop and stay wherever I want to, and avoid the places I didn’t much care for on the way North. Does that sound cool or what?

Yes, Yes, I know it’s going to be expensive. Did you catch that part about me knowing about this time off for the last 7 years? A person could probably stash away quite a bit of cash during that 7 years…. If they were smart, I mean. Besides, I have this philosophy when I travel…… I don’t pay much attention to what things cost, because I don’t want to come back home “wishing” I had done something that I didn’t do, because it was too “expensive” When I go baby, I go ALL OUT.

So, It looks like sometime later this year, I’ll have to practice up on my “GDAY MATE”, and also figure out what kind of bait it takes to catch a really big Alaskan Salmon. In case you couldn’t tell, I’m REALLY looking forward to it :-)

Who Done It?

2006-09-14T14:16:00.000-07:00

I double dated for dinner with a friend of mine last weekend, and I was kind of surprised where we went. It wasn’t the food that surprised me, it was…. The Atmosphere. See, if you’ve known me for awhile, you know that I just can’t do anything the normal way. That’s MUCH too boring, so we didn’t go to just any restaurant, we went to “Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre” It’s a restaurant, where during dinner, the “Servers” put on an interactive play during the meal. The table seating was 8 to a table, so we also met 2 other pleasant couples for dinner companions. It all reminded me of that game “Clue”. You know, Colonel Mustard, in the kitchen, with the candlestick?

In this Dinner Theatre, the play was set in the 1920’s, and involved a group of people, who were cast members in a movie production of “Love’s Summer Dream”. The cast of characters were your normal nefarious group of self important, jealous, conceited actors, singers and dancers and a director, who all barely could contain their apparent dislike of each other. In other words, a perfect setting for a Murder Mystery. The play also had audience participation, where they selected audience members to play small parts for a few minutes (fun!). Some audience members were even dressed up in 1920’s outfits, you know, like people used to do for Rocky Horror Picture Show? (Cool).

After the initial introduction of the characters, there was a short break in the play, while the Actors/Servers came around and served the salad, and while they served, they remained in character told little stories about “their character” and how they had come to be in the “movie production”, why they were the real star of the movie, and how much they despised all the other characters. Seemed to me like they were all setting themselves up with potential motives for “murder”.

So, around about the third act, during “rehearsals” for the film, The leading lady, Superstar past her prime “Louise Loveless”, discovers her makeup smudged, and retrieving her makeup bag from her personal assistant “Jewel Precious”, applies her lipstick, starts choking, and Falls Over Dead! Shocking! It appears the movie’s leading lady has been….. POISENED! Who could have done such a thing?

Was it “C.D. Weasel”, the flamboyant Producer/Director, who’s last 2 pictures failed, and desperately needed publicity for this picture, good, or bad? Or maybe it was “Fanny Fanciful” the Brooklyn accented Co-Star, who dreamed of being the Leading Lady? Or maybe, it might have been “Clara Simpson” The Child Star, who at 16 was past her prime, and looking for a starring “opportunity”. Why, it could have even been the personal assistant, “Jewel Precious”, who it turns out was treated very badly by Louise Loveless, so maybe the motive was nothing more than simple revenge. Or it even could have been one of the leading men “Edward Manly” the Macho Lead Actor, “Rudee Ballentine” the wannabe Shakespeare actor trapped in a “B-Movie” both of whom had their affections spurned by Louise, or even “Harold Joy”, the films comic role player,, who secretly was in Love with former child actor Clara. Hummmmm, seems like just about everybody involved had a reason to kill Louise.

We got to open the second part of our “Detective Packet”, and inside was another clue, plus a $50.00 play money, which we used to “bribe” the actors as they served us the main course. Naturally each one of them blamed someone else, so by the time we finished discussing it amongst our table, the only sure thing we knew was…. We didn’t know who did it.

So, the one thing missing, was the investigator, so into the play comes “Louella Snoop” the investigative columnist, who proceeds to unravel the clues, first seeming to point at one person as the murderer, only to reveal that no…. it couldn’t have been that person because because because…. Sigh, or maybe, the murderer was just trying to make it LOOK like it couldn’t be them. Who could the murderer be…….? There was a short break, while the main course dishes are cleared, and desert is brought out, while we take the opportunity to fill out our “Guess the murderer” cards. Questions on the card: Who did it, why did they do it, and were there any accomplices? The correct answer gets a small prize, a Mystery Mansion Coffee Mug. Did I mention I collect cool coffee mugs?

The final act, the entire cast gathers again on stage, and they each proceed to pick apart Louella Snoops assumptions one by one, until finally, to all the cast members, and of course the audience as well, it becomes obviously apparent that there is only one person that it could possibly be the killer. The identity of the murderer is……….

What? Did you think I was going to tell you?

Sorry, you’ll just have to go see it yourself. Or else ask me REAL Nicely, and Maybe….. Maybe I’ll tell ya. Overall, it was a very entertaining evening. BY the way, I guessed wrong :-)

http://mysterymansion.com/ 480-994-1520

Hi-Ho, The Merry-O, A Camping We Will Go

2006-08-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Boy, I love having 3 day weekends. I had last Friday off, and coincidentally, my best friend Bob called me up last week, and invited me to go along on a camping and fishing trip. I was looking forward to it, since I haven’t been camping in ages, and we were planning on going to a place that neither of us had been.

The area is called “Big Lake”. It’s a state park, up in the White Mountains in North Eastern Arizona. If you know Arizona Geography, it’s about 20 miles from Sunrise Ski Resort, at an elevation of 9000 ft. It’s beautiful up there, since it's back in the forest, and we were going to be hanging out with the pine trees. It’s really nothing like the Phoenix area.

Technically, I’m not sure that some people would refer to it as “camping”, since he has this mobile home trailer that we towed up there. It has all the amenities, like a refrigerator, stove, bathroom, shower, and real beds. Hey, don’t laugh, I haven’t pitched a tent, and slept on the ground in decades, and while I have no problem doing that….. why should I? The last time I did that stuff was when I was a member of troop 680 of the new York Chapter of The Boy Scouts. Trust me, I’m way past that.

It took us awhile to get up there. It’s about 5 ½ hours drive. I probably could have made it in less time in the Jag, but driving a GMC 4x4, and towing a trailer up the mountainside, you can’t exactly travel at the speed of light. The trip was worth it though. The lake is way up there, and way back in the forest. I felt like I was Robin Hood, hanging out in Sherwood Forest or something like that. Plus, the campsites are spread out, and not on top of each other, like some of those KOA campsites, so there is relative campsite privacy. You can sort of see other people's campsite through the trees, but you can’t hear their conversations, unless they are yelling.

The main activity for the weekend, was Trout Fishing. On Friday and Saturday, we tried our luck from the shore of the lake. We didn’t have too much success, unless you can call catching a couple of crawdads a success. In my opinion, catching mini-lobsters doesn’t count, when you’re going for trout. The lady at the General Store / Boat Rental Facility said that the lake was too warm to fish from the bank, and so the better idea was to rent a boat, and go out into the lake. Sure….. what a coincidence, their recommendation was to give them money for a boat…. What a scam, right? I thought so too, until Jerry, another friend of ours who was up there, reported that he and his father caught 9 fish on Saturday, using a boat.

Shoot. We had zero luck on Friday and Saturday. We even went over to another camp ground to do some stream type fishing, and we only caught 1 small fish, that wasn’t even worth keeping. Here it was Saturday late afternoon, and we had no fish to show for 2 days effort. So, we decided to get up early on Sunday, and go get a boat for the morning, before we had to leave to come home at around noon. What would you guess was the result? Did you say…. strike out? WRONG!!

We got out there at 6am, right when the boat rental place opened, and we cruised out onto the lake into the same general area that Jerry told us about. We weren’t there too long before Bob caught the first one. A beauty, about 12-14 inches long, using Trout “Power Bait”. About 15 min later, I caught my first one, which was about the same size as Bob’s. In the next hour or so, Bob caught 2 more, and I had nary a nibble. I would have been ok with just catching at least 1 fish, but fortunately, fate had a different plan. About 15 minutes later, I caught the smallest one of the day, a fish ~ 8 inches. Score, Bob = 3, Tom 2…. Ummmmm really 1.5 cause the second was so small :-)

We had a bit of drought for awhile after that, so I decided to change from the power bait to worms. Sometimes changing the bait works, or maybe it was just the location of the cast. I cast out the line a couple of times, and nothing. I was slowly reeling it in for a third cast, when I got a strike. Another 12-14 incher. Bob reeled in his power bait and switched it to worms, and we each caught 1 more of about the same size 12-14 inces. Man these fish were huge, larger then any trout I had previously seen, and good fighters too. By the time we hauled in the last fish, it was pretty close to the time we needed to go back and break camp, so since we each had a pretty good catch of 4 each (ok, mine was 3.5 fish), and we still had to clean the fish, we called it a day. The one good thing, was near the general store, they had a fish cleaning station, which made that messy task much easier, so we were done in a jiffy, with plenty of time to get back and break camp by the noon deadline.

All in all, I have to say that I had a great time. I got out of town for 3 days, went up north to the mountains, and communed with nature in an area that is very different from phoenix, camped out around the fire, and even caught a few fish. I don’t want to sound like a beer commercial or anything, but it truly….. Just doesn’t get any better than that. Thanks for the invite Bob :-)

Tuuuuuubing..... On A Sunday Afternoon

2006-07-10T14:42:00.000-07:00

How was your weekend? I had a great one. Not only did I sing a new Hootie And The Blowfish song at karaoke, my Adventure Cub went tubing on the Salt River on Sunday. Have you ever done this? If not, it's really cool. You drive up to Saguaro Lake, and there is this inner tube rental place, and they bus you up to a place in the river, the group tied all our tubes together, and you basically spend ~ 4 hours floating down the river in these giant inner tubes.

They pile you into these school buses, with all the tubes, and take you up the river, and there are 2 locations for pick up at ~ 2 hours float and 4 hours float. We did 4. Someone advised me to bring an old sheet to drape over the tube, and that was wise, because I think a black inner tube might get awfully hot in the Arizona sun after 4 hours (Ya Think?). I also brought a little $4.00 kiddy raft in toys r us, to float my cooler (smart huh?)

I couldn't help noticing that not only are "super soaker water gun" wars apparently the norm on the river and among the "tubers", but it is also apparently a tradition to participate in an activity I named...... "Marshmallow Bombardment". Several of the people in our group had bags of those large marshmallows, and we spent quite some fun time, lobbing them at other rafters we floated by. I thought it was some sort of thing only our group did, until about half way down the river, some other "innocent looking" group of rafters shot us with their own Marshmallow Bombardment when we floated by.

Plus, the only cooler restriction, is no glass bottles, so we had quite the fun time with Mr Budweiser, and those little pint plastic bottles of margaritas that we brought along with us. Good thing though that I brought along my SPF30 Sunscreen. Funny thing, when I was talking to another friend of mine, and describing the good time I had, she said "You know, that tubing stuff is just an excuse to do nothing but float down the river, drinking beer".

Yeah, So What? I wonder...... What was her point :-)

Tom Does "Indian"

2006-06-22T15:15:00.001-07:00

One of the things I like best about joining my Adventure Club a few years ago, is the Monthly "Cultural Dinners" that they organize. Once a month, the gang gets together at a different restaurant in the Phoenix area, for dinner and drinks. The neat thing, is we don't go down to your neighborhood McDonalds, it's always at some sort of ethnic restaurant, I guess that's where they get the title "Cultural Dinner" (get it?).

Anyway, June was awesome, because we went to a place called "Indian Delhi Palace" in Phoenix http://www.indiandelhipalace.com/ I was a little apprehensive, since I guessed that Indian would be outside my normal comfort zone, but what the heck, if I went and enjoyed that Ethiopian restaurant that time, I certainly could do Indian. Besides, one of my Indian friends recommended "Tandoori Chicken" for a first timer, so I was anticipating good food.

I wasn't disappointed. One thing I would recommend for first timers, Indian food tends to be a bit spicy, so make sure that you ask for "mild" in the spice department. Here they ask mild/medium/hot. Now I like spicy food, but to be safe I said mild, and if what I ate was mild, then hot would have probably burned out my taste buds.

There was quite a large turnout this time, with about 35 people, which is about 10 people larger then normal, so Indian must be quite popular in the club. The best thing was, that many people ordered different stuff, and since they bring the dishes in separate containers that you scoop onto your plate, and the portions were rather large, then by mutual consent, we ended up sampling everyone else dishes. I ended up having the Tandoori Chicken which I shared with 2 other people, but I also got to sample the Lamb Boti kebob, the Chicken Curry, the Daal Maharani (split lentil soup), and the Palak Paneer (curry style spinach), and I don't even like spinach! Topped off with Naan Bread, 'Milk Balls In Honey Sauce" for desert, plus 2 bottles of Indian Beer, you can't beat that for a meal that you don't have to cook.

Also, I seem to have developed a nickname around the Club... I was introduced to one nice lady, and she said "Oh, you're "The Dinner Guy". When I asked what she meant, she said that this was the nickname one of the Event Coordinators called me. Probably because I almost always show up for the Cultural Dinners. I've noticed that several of the Club members have nicknames, there's "Cowboy Bob", because of the way he always dresses, "Mr. GQ", who apparently thinks he's God's gift to women, and "Miss Fashionista" who can't seem to wear anything unless it's something like Versace or Christian Dior. So I guess being "The Dinner Guy" isn't so bad, and as a matter of fact, I sort of, kind of, like it. I think it means I must be soooooo popular :-)

Next Month.... "A Taste Of Thai". I can't wait :-)

Stuff I Don't Get

2006-06-16T08:51:00.000-07:00

Caution: Bitching And Complaining Follows :-)

Why is it that when drivers make a left turn, they feel a need to swing their car to the right into my lane, first? What are they driving.... an 18 wheeler?
Why is it that Congress seems to be more concerned with banning Gay Marriage, and Flag Burning, then they are about 2500 dead American Soldiers? Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, I served 6 years in the US Marines.
How come Football Quarterback Ben Rothlisberger apparently thinks it's important to wear a football helmet in case he's run over by a 300 lb lineman, but it's not important to wear a motorcycle helmet in case he's run over by a 3000 lb car? I guess he learned his lesson last week, eh?
Why do people back their cars into a parking lot space? It takes the same amount of time backing up, whether you do it on arrival, or departure. The only exception is at sporting events, because people let you in the exit line faster if you're backed into the space.
Good thing Congress just got themselves a pay raise of $3,300 each, to bring their salaries to $168,500 per year. Poor babies, in addition to free medical, free dental, and "full pay" retirement, I hope they can "get by" on that amount, seeing how great a job they're doing, representing me this year. http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/06/13/congress.payraise.ap/
I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy for someone bitching about gas prices, when they're driving a Hummer @ 8 mpg. FYI, my vehicle gets 23 mpg.
Boy...... I'm glad it's Friday, aren't you? :-)

Thoughts On A Visit From The Family

2006-05-31T14:18:00.000-07:00

Cousin Erika and Cousin In-Law Rich, flew here out west for a visit over Memorial Weekend. It was really nice to see them again, since their wedding was the last time I saw them. They haven't changed a bit. Good thing.
I was tempted to do a "Super Duper Mr. Clean" on the house, including the whole carpet shampoo thing, in order to impress them. Fortunately I laid down on my bed until that feeling went away.
Erika finally got to see that wall art, that I purchased with the gift certificate that she and Kay gave me the last time she visited.... 9 years ago. I think fondly about her every time I look at it.
Julie Dog was in ecstasy at having company for an extended stay, especially since she was able to con the both of them into participating in her favorite activity..... ear and tummy rubs.
I finally got to see the Phoenix Historic Museum downtown. Now I know the early history of where I live. I feel sooooooo smart.
Going up to Sedona, and staying overnight, and doing the Grand Canyon the second day, was WAY better then the rush rush, do it all in 1 day, method that was used "last time".
We did the "Pink Jeep" tour in Sedona, and the "Yellow Jeep" tour at the Canyon. That was also better then the, "go it alone" method. The Yellow Jeep guide also reminded me of one of the members of ZZ Top.
Did you know that there is a "back way" into the Grand Canyon, that avoids that 2+ hour line at the normal Park Main Entrance, and also takes you through the Kibab forest? I didn't know that either. I do now.
Did you know that there are hundreds of different kinds of cactus in the desert, or that the green bark on desert trees, allows them to do photo-synthisis through the bark? Amazing what you learn touring the Phoenix Desert Botanical Gardens.
When I grew up back east, I thought I knew what "real" Mexican food was like. I didn't, but I do now, after living here for 11 years.
We didn't even consider going to an Indian Casino. Not even once.
The one regret I had, was I didn't get to show off my Karaoke skills for them. Oh well, sacrifices sometimes have to be made.
You know how they say time flys when you're having fun? It doesn't just fly, it goes at warp speed.
I'm so glad they came. And just in case I forgot to mention it..... a revisit invitation is happily extended..... Anytime :-)

How Come No Women Have Attacked Me?

2006-04-17T08:56:00.000-07:00

I think I‘m going to have to sue the makers of AXE for false advertising. Have you heard of this product? This stuff is a whole line of hygiene products for men that has hit the store shelves in the past year. In this month’s issue of Maxim magazine there was this little sample packet of a new “Body Wash” they’re introducing, called Snake Peel. It has those little gritty things in it, what’s that called Exfoliant, I think, and it contains cactus oil. Anyway, since the sample was free, I tried it. The little gritty things dissolve after a few seconds, it lathered real well, and OK, I admit it, I thought it smelled pretty good, so I even bought some the next time I went to the market.

So what’s the problem? Well, if you’ve seen any of the commercials on TV for these type of products from these companies, a few minutes after applying it, these guys in the commercials have women attacking them in the supermarkets, ripping their clothes off in parking lots, and basically trying to jump their bones every time they turn around. I’ve been using this stuff for over a week now, and you know what?

NOTHING

Nope, not 1 women has attacked me, or tried to rip my clothes off in public. I even walked around the supermarket for 2 hours last Saturday (OK, maybe it wasn’t actually 2 hours), and NOT ONCE did any woman try to tackle me and tear my shirt off WHAT’S UP WITH THAT? This is definatlely false advertising, and fraudulent marketing.

Still…… I’m not sure if it’s the Exfoliant, OR the Cactus Oil, or what, but I do like the way it makes me feel, post shower, and maybe I'm just not patient enough. You see, this morning at our daily morning ops meeting out on the manufacturing floor, I overheard one of the female program managers who was standing nearby, whisper to her friend “Gee, somebody smells good today”. I just smiled, and said nothing.

Maybe there’s hope yet :-)

When Is An Oil Drain..... Not?

2006-04-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

I nearly wrecked my $40K Luxury Car a few weekends back. No, I don’t mean wrecked in the collision sense, I mean wrecked in the Maintenance sense. You see, I have a 2002 Jaguar X-Type, and like all Jag’s, it came with a 4 year 50K warranty, which included all routine maintenance. So, since it is a 2002, that warranty has run out, which means, no more free oil changes. I guess I could still take it to the Jag Dealer, where they charge only $39.00 for an oil change, and they even wash the car, I could, if I want to wait around for 2-3 Hours for them to get it done. Or, I could take it to the Jiffy Lube, where they’ll do it quicker….. And charge me an arm and a leg. They have an additional “oil charge” for the synthetic oil, and a “service charge” because they have to pour the oil from the bottles, instead of pumping it from the 55 gallon drum, and of course for some unknown reason they also add on an additional “oil disposal fee”, because of course for some strange reason disposing of synthetic oil MUST be more difficult (cough). Last time I had it done there, they charged me $70.00 for an oil change. Must have been that “Let’s soak the Jag owner, he has money” type of oil change.

So, being the “Tom The Handyman” that I am, I had the brilliant idea to do it myself. Why not? The oil filter, and synthetic Motor Oil totaled $24.00 in Wall Mart, and I’ve done it plenty of times on my other cars, right? Just pop that sucker up on the car maintenance ramps I have, pop that oil drain plug off, swap the filter, reinstall the drain plug, refill it, done deal, right? I look under the car, the drain plug was where I thought it would be, I drive it up on the ramps, put my catch pan under there, pop that plug off, and start draining. I go back inside and have a beer to let it drain, no problem, right? So I go back out, and pull the pan out, and I notice that there’s only about 3 quarts in the pan, which is strange, since the oil capacity is 7 quarts, so I stick my finger into the fluid and hold it up to the light, and I notice the fluid color is….. Red.

For those that don’t know, used motor oil IS NOT red, it’s brown. There is however, a common car fluid that IS red…… Automatic Transmission Fluid. YUP, you guessed it, I accidentally drained part of the transmission. I verify this by putting the plug back in, climbing into the car, starting it up, and shifting into reverse…… Nothing happens. No gear change, no car movement, nothing. GREAT, just great, the car is up on the ramps, half in, half out of the garage, and I can’t move it. No problem, right? Just locate the transmission dip stick, drive the other vehicle over to Wallmart, get 3 quarts of fluid, and refill it like I've done in the past, right? NOPE.

I went on-line, to jagtalk.com, and I discover, the transmission is sealed. No maintenance required, no dipstick installed, nothing. Plus, one guy replies to my message that "special" Jaguar transmission fluid is required, at $43.00/quart. WHAT? What's up with that? What is it, Gold Plated Fluid? Plus, he recommends to have the vehicle flatbed towed up to the dealer (20 miles away) to have it done. BUMMER! At least, in the meantime, I try letting the car idle for awhile, and shift it into reverse, and this time it grabs, so I'm able to get it off the ramps, and into the driveway, so at least I can close the garage door. SHEESH, what a bummer.

Fortunately, the next morning (Sunday), a former Jaguar Mechanic replies to my web post, and becomes my savior. He says that since Ford Motor Company took over Jaguar in 2000, I no longer need to put that "special transmission fluid", and can use good old Ford Standard Dexron 2, which Wallmart has for $1.89/quart. He tells me about a "filler bolt" behind the battery, on top of the transmission that can be removed with a 10mm Allen Wrench, to refill the transmission. So, after a quick trip to the hardware store to buy metric allan wrenches ($11.00), and to the Wallmart for 3 quarts of fluid, I stick the allan wrench into the bolt..... It won't budge. I twist and twist, put a pair of pliers on the wrench..... nothing. I'm so close to fixing it now, this darned thing IS NOT GONNA BEAT ME. So I remove the battery to get more clearance, and I clamp the largest pair of vise grips I have on the wrench, and muscle the allan wrench..... and it breaks free! I later find out that Jaguar had put loctite on the bolt, which is a liquid plastic to keep bolts from loosening.

So, I pour in 3 quarts of the fluid, reinstall the filler bolt, reinstall the battery, and start the car. I shift the transmission into reverse, and..... It grabs! So, I spend the next 5 minutes shifting back and forth through Park/Reverse/Drive, back and forth, until I'm certain that the 3 quarts I've put in have thoroughly mixed with the 4 remaining quarts still in the transmission, then I SLOWLY drive it around the block about 5 times, letting it shift up and down through the first 3 gears..... No problems. The car needs fuel, so taking it over to the gas station on roads with speed limits of 50mph will certainly be the ultimate test. The trip to the gas station and back..... Smooth shifting, No problems. WHEW! It looks like I dodged a bullet, and I may be imagining things, but I think the car even shifts smoother now. You know, I STILL haven't located that oil drain plug, and there's still one "Major" issue with the car......

Removing the battery, lost all my programmed radio stations :-)

Wouldn't You Like To Be A Razr Too?

2006-03-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

I’ve been driving my friends and co-workers nuts this past week. What happened? I got a new cell phone. Oh No, but not just a phone, oh no baby, no ordinary, run of the mill, el cheapo communication device for me, Mr. “I’ve got to have a new geek toy” before everybody else. Nope. I got myself a Motorola Razr V3. Have you seen these things? It’s got to be only the hottest cell phone on the planet today. Sleek, slim, ultra clear reception, with oodles and oodles of power (Is oodles really a word?). Check this out…..

http://www.motorola.com/motoinfo/product/details/0,,69,00.html
http://www.motorola.com/motoinfo/product/images/0,,69,00.html

First I’ve got to tell you, my old phone was 2 years old, which in technology terms is prehistoric. I had to buy a high capacity battery for it, just to give it decent talk time, and that battery was a hump back thing that made my phone look like it belonged to the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The last time I loaned it to a girl on a date, she took 1 look at it, and laughed at me…… Yeah, you guessed it, we’re not dating anymore. This phone was fat, heavy, had a dopey antenna sticking out of it’s head, no digital camera, and when I stored it in my front pocket, it looked like I was permanently “excited to see you”….. If you catch my drift.

Want to hear the best part? The Razr was free. Well, not exactly, I had to pay $5.00 for sales tax, AND renew my Verizon Wireless contract. No big deal, because I was planning on staying with Verizon anyway. Of course I could have received the phone without renewing, then the phone would have cost me “only” $150.00. Yeah, like I was really going to spend that much for a cell phone…… NOT.

So, why am I driving everyone crazy? Maybe you haven’t seen that commercial where the coworker is hanging over his cubicle neighbors wall, pretending like his phone is talking to his cube neighbor, throwing his voice, and saying things like “Hi I’m Tom’s NEW PHONE, aren’t I cool? Do you have a cool phone too? No? Too bad you’re not as cool as Tom”. That’s me. Combine that with my constant….. “Hey, check out my NEW PHONE, yup, one of those Cool New Razr Phones, yup yup”. “Did you see my new phone?” “Do you want me to take your picture with my mega-pixel camera, on my NEW PHONE?” “When was the last time YOU got a ……… NEW PHONE”? “Yup, got mine last week, blue tooth wireless connectivity with my laptop, and everything…. Yup, can yours do that? No? Too bad”.

I think I’m going to have to stop though. The woman who is the Purchasing Buyer for my group and I were talking today, and after I mentioned “MY NEW PHONE” for probably the 1 billionth time, she said “Tom, you are such a Techno-Geek”. My response…….. “Yeah, what’s your point?” She just rolled her eyes like I was hopeless, and walked away. What? What did I say? I know…… I know…… what her problem was…..

She doesn’t have a NEW PHONE :-)

The Karaoke Kid Strikes Again

2006-03-17T09:54:00.000-07:00

Guess What? I went with my Adventure Club to a “Pool, Darts, And Karaoke Night this week. I like doing this, because I seem to be quite comfortable in a “Sports Bar” Atmosphere. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that when I was in the US Marines I practically lived in those places. Of course, that was in my much younger days.

Anyway, the place was called T.J.’s, and it was located in a strip mall in Mesa, Az. This place was….. Let’s see, how can a put it….. A Redneck Dive Bar. OK, maybe it wasn’t really that bad, I guess I’ve just become use to a higher standard as I’ve matured (Hey, no “Old Fart” jokes, I hear you!). Actually, the “Bar Food” was of a much higher level then I expected when I walked in and first saw the place, and about 10-15 people showed up from the Club, which is quite a few, considering it was a Wednesday Night.

Now, I know how to shoot pool, and throw darts, but the main reason I went was, of course, the Karaoke. If you’ve been a long time reader of SOL, you’ll know that I’ve always had a secret aspiration to be a Singing Star. How did I end up in Engineering instead? Well, I’ve heard of quite a few “Starving” Professional Singers. Have you ever heard of a “Starving” Engineer? Me neither. Still, at least around here in Az, with the growing trend of Sports Bars having Karaoke Nights, I’ve been able to have the best of both worlds, without sacrificing anything. OK, I admit, in the beginning, before I found “My Songs” I was terrible, but things have been improving, since I realized I’m a Baritone, and Baritones, should NOT try to sing “Alto”. It just makes them sound stupid. Them….. Not me, of course.

So, I already have 2 songs that I do, that seem to get a good response, and I’ve been working on a third, by practicing “In The Shower”, so to speak. I actually have an “audience” that I can try my songs out in private. Who? Ummmm….. My Dog Julie. Don’t laugh, although she can’t talk, she has this way of cocking her head to the side, and using an expression that looks like “What The Heck Is That Noise”, when I’m off key, and she wags her tail, and “pants” when I hit the right notes. I’ve also discovered another Artist that is in my vocal range. Hootie And The Blowfish.

If you think about it, Hootie is mostly a Baritone, but I still can’t do several of the group’s songs. There is one though….. Ready? Let Her Cry. Hey, it’s not such an easy one to do, since several of the verses drag out, and require quite a bit of effort. You know: Let her Crrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy, If the tears fall down like Raaaaain, Let her Siiiiiiiiiiiing, If it eases all her pain, Let her Gooooooooooooooo, let her walk right out on meeee, and if the sun comes up tomorrow, let her Rain, Oooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. It’s those dragged out words that are the killers.

Anyway, since I hardly knew anybody in that particular sports bar, and I already had a few “Corona’s”, I felt relatively safe. The song went off better then I expected, and I even got “more than” polite applause, so I think I’m ready for it’s “debut” at the Regal Beagle, at the corner of Chandler Blvd/Kyrene Road, which has Karaoke Night on Saturday’s starting at 9pm. Drop on by some Saturday Night, I’ll probably be there, unless something else is going on. I might even buy you a drink.

What Is This... A Hitchcock Movie?

2006-02-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Do you know who Alfred Hitchcock was? If you're a fan of horror movies, then you should. Alfred Hitchcock was a Film Director, who pioneered Horror movies, and some consider him to be "The Father" of horror. And no, I don't mean the blood and gore type horror films that Directors seem to favor these days, no Hitchcock relied on suspense and story telling to scare the pants off of you. That's not to say that his movies were bloodless, but in his case, blood and gore seemed to be secondary to the story. Probably his most famous movie "Psycho"was a good example, and no, I don't mean that feeble attempt at a remake they did a few years ago, I mean the original black and white version, made by the master himself.

So, where am I going with all this? Turns out, last week, I had a "Hitchcock Moment", or at least I thought for a second I had been transported into one of his movies. Ya see, his other most famous horror movie that people remember was called "The Birds". Basically, it was a story of nature, run amok, where these large black birds invade a town, and cause all kinds of havoc with the people, while seeming to be waging all out war on humans.

One of the best scenes, is where the leading man and woman are sitting on a park bench talking about the situation. behind them is a playground with swings, and a set of what we use to call "Monkey bars", I believe they're now called Jungle Jims. It's just a welded steel bar structure that kids can climb around on. Anyway, in the scene, while they are talking, a couple of these black birds fly over them, and land on the Jungle Jim. They keep talking, while a couple more fly over, then a few more, and a few more. The couple goes on talking, and at one point, one of them looks up, notices a couple of the birds flying over, and follows their flight path until they land on the bars, and now there are HUNDREDS of those birds on the bars, and naturally mayhem soon ensues when they attack.

What's this got to do with me? Well 2 weekends ago, I had the eerie feeling I was part of that movie. Ya see, it's bird migration time around here, and one of the species that seems to trek through the Phoenix area, are these large black birds. They might be crows, but I'm no bird expert. These birds are not only about 1.5 times the size of a pigeon, but they are aggressive and fearless when it comes to humans. I first met up with one, when I caught it "dunking" a piece of dry dog food into JulieDogs outside water bowl, probably to soften it up. When I came outside to shoo it away, it didn't fly away, no, it merely flew to the top of my property fence, out of my reach and glared at me. I took 2 steps forward, it took 2 steps away. Clearly, it had no intention of being "scared away". It waited patiently until I went back inside, then flew right back to the water bowl. It apparently was not afraid of me.... At All.

So anyway, last weekend, I was cutting the grass in the back yard, while at the same time, I had the water hose dribbling at the base of one of my fruit trees to deep water it. I'm going merrily along cutting the grass, and I noticed a couple of those birds fly over and land in the tree on my neighbors property behind me. I pretty much ignored them, and finished cutting the grass, then I shut off the lawnmower, and that's when it happened.

These black birds are not silent, they make quite a bit of noise, so I turned around and looked up in the trees where the previous birds had landed, and I SWEAR, now there must have been about 100 of these birds in the 2 trees! I'm telling you, it was Just Like In The Movie! In addition about 6-10 of them had flown down to the top of the fence, and.... ALL of them were watching me! I could tell, because whenever a bird moved, it would then cock it's head to aim an eye in my direction. There were too many doing it, to be a coincidence, and remembering my encounter with the dry dog food bird, I SLOWLY backed away from the mower, and I didn't stop backing away until I was inside the house. Laugh if you want, I'm not afraid of a few dozen pigeons, but these guys are big and mean, and I didn't forget the dry dog food bird wasn't afraid of me, at all. Wanna know what they wanted?

The water. The hose watering the fruit tree, had created a small puddle around the tree, and after I was inside, a couple of the birds on the fence dropped down into the yard, and while some of them walked around "On Guard", the others drank, then some more birds came down to the fence, then, they started coming down in waves from the trees. in a moment, half of my back yard was a sea of black. I guess clean water isn't so easy to come by in the desert, eh? All I can say is, I'm glad I let them have it. If a Hungry Black Bird was so aggressive towards me just to get a bite to eat, there's no telling what a large group of "thirsty" birds might do (Whew!) . I think Hitchcock would have been pleased :-)

Now I'm REALLY Nuts

2006-01-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

So, I went to the Focus group last night. Easiest $65.00 I ever made. Did you know that Almonds contain loads of anti-oxidants, Vitamin E, and cholesterol lowering properties? Me neither. I think I now possess about a billion times more knowledge about nuts, than anybody around me. I’m not sure though that being able to claim that “I’m more nuts then you” is a good thing.

It was the California Almond Growers Association, like I guessed it was. They are preparing to launch a major advertising campaign in order to get people to eat more….. Almonds (go figure). They wanted our feedback on how and why we eat what we eat, what makes us want to eat healthy food, or junk food, and we also looked at some sample magazine ads, and asked us tons of questions about what we liked or didn’t like about them.

I gather that it is mostly a magazine campaign, due to the sample ads they showed us, but they also might fit in with internet pop up ads. The magazines I think they are targeting are of course, any having to do with food, but I also heard mention of health magazines, and specifically they mentioned Time, Sports Illustrated, and People magazine. Their logo is easy to spot, it’s a yellow triangle, with a lower case “A” in the middle. So, if in the next few months, you notice these type of ads start to pop up, and IF they happen to specifically highlight the “Crunchy”, “Cardio” and “Cholesterol Reduction” points in the ads….. Those were my ideas :-)

P.S. – The Research people gave me 2 blank sign up cards, so they must be “recruiting” new people to participate in future Focus Groups. So, if anybody I know who is local, is interested in making some easy money from time to time by spending about 2 hours telling people what you think, let me know, and I’ll hook you up (18 years old minimum). See ya later, I’m off to scarf some “Blue Diamond Almonds”.

Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut.....

2006-01-06T11:38:00.000-07:00

Guess what? The Market research people called me again! So of course what that means, is that I'm about to make a contribution that will certainly alter reality, and change the lives of everyone on the planet. If you don't know what I'm talking about, then tsk tsk, you haven't been faithfully reading my BLOG, have you. I forgive you.... If you send me money.

OK, I'll tell ya. It started way back when I was in California, when a friend of mine mentioned to me that they did this "Focus Group" stuff, and told me that I should sign up too. "Why the heck would I want to do that" says I. "Because they pay you, $25.00/hour, in cash, under the table" he said. BINGO! He should have said that to begin with. Money, I understand, but since I've been doing it, it's not really about the money, it's about..... The Power. What do I mean? Well, you probably don't realize it, but what I say in these groups frequently changes your life. Don't believe it? Well, maybe if I tell you a bit about my 3 most memorable feedbacks, you might change your mind.

The best one I remember, was when I gave the late Peter Jennings my opinions on Bill Clinton's re-election debates. That one was nationally televised on ABC News, and by ABC's estimates was seem by > 40 million people. I wonder how many people I influenced with my witty repate' on that one? Not political? Well, another time, I went in to taste test this new kind of "Drink" that a manufacturer was coming out with. It was a new drink concept, which was made with "wine" you know, fermented crushed grapes? I told them I thought that it was too sweet for a "wine drink". 3 months later, the first Bartels And James Wine Coolers came out, and guess what? They were more tart then the one's I tried (I recognized the bottle shape immediately). Still not convinced? While I was in California, a certain car maker called us in to look at a prototype interior mark up of a revolutionary "new vehicle" they were coming out with. We only saw the basic body outline, but when I sat in the proposed 3 rows of seats interior, I told them that 2 cup holders for the middle, and none for the back seat, was a mistake. 1 year later, Chrysler Corporation introduced the very first minivans with.... you guessed it, cup holders all over the place. Funny how those minivan bodies looked remarkably like the ones I saw.

Anyway, to make a long story short, this time they asked me a bunch of questions about the foods I eat, the magazines I read, and the TV shows I watch. From the questions, I was able to figure out that the manufacturer is starting some sort of food campaign, or some sort of product based on..... Nuts. Specifically, Almonds. They never tell you what company is paying for the research, and sometimes they don't even mention the product, but it's usually not too difficult to figure it out, if you're paying attention. So, on January 19, 2006, I'm going to go down there for 2 hours, and they are going to feed us a deli Sandwich dinner, and the fee has gone up to $65.00 for the 2 hours, and all of it, is to get my feedback on some sort of Almond Campaign, by some company. Isn't that cool?

One more thing happened that was interesting. 2 days after they called me, I received my January Subscription issue of Men's Health Magazine, which happened to be one of the magazines they asked me about, and right there on page 6 was a Full Page Ad from..... The California Almond Growers Association! Probably just a coincidence, eh? :-)

Random Thoughts On The Holidays

2005-12-14T20:54:00.000-07:00

Recently, I saw a well known conservative commentator, bitching about people, and businesses going to the politically correct “Happy Holidays”, and how changing the term from “Merry Christmas” was some Liberal plot to take over the world. I guess it would have been more believable, if his own website at that moment, didn’t wish everyone “A Happy Holiday”. Actually, I don’t care what people “Wish me”, I just want them to do it.

Did you get all your shopping done yet? Me neither. I’m one of those people you see running around the mall like a lunatic, on Dec 24, and half the time, I’m wrapping someone’s present about 5-10 minutes before they open it. I can’t help it. Every year, “It’s gonna be different”. It never is. Hey….. Doesn’t that make it almost….. a tradition?

I put up my lights last weekend. It was a happy moment, and a sad one too. Sad, because Dad use to help me do it, and of course now he can’t, and happy, because the new neighbors, Erika and Steve, rang my doorbell, and gave me a cookie plate “Just because your house shows that you have the Christmas spirit”. I think it does, too.

I bought a “Doggie Stocking” at the PetSmart store for Julie Dog. It's pre-filled with doggie toys and treats.What? Don’t you get your pet a Christmas present? No? Shame on you. Julie loves it.

Oh man, if you want to see a cool audio/visual light show, check this out: http://members.cox.net/transam57/lights.wmv and the story behind it: http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslights.asp Cool, huh?

You know the Christmas Spirit is alive and well, when you hear some anonymous voice over to the left in your cubicle area sing “Deck The Halls With boughs of holly”, and the “Fa La La La La, La La La La” comes from somewhere over on the right.

I’m not able to go back east this Christmas. Don’t worry, I also happen to have what I call “My West Coast family”, because that’s how they treat me.

I’lllllll Beee Hooooooome for Chriiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaas, If Ooooooonnnnnnllllly innnnnnn myyyyyyyyyyyyyy Dreeeeeeeeeams. Sigh, I guess I sort of, just felt like singing that :-)

Daylight Savings Time? Yeah, I've heard Of That

2005-11-01T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hey, I hear that the rest of you “unenlightened” people in the USA went through that Time warp thing that you do twice per year. What’s that called again? Daylight savings time….? Yeah, that’s it. You see, we “Zonies” have opted out of that deal, Nope, not gonna do it, no way. Gonna be a rebel, yup, that’s it, must be that Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday Southwest Cowboy attitude, eh?

Nope. Actually, the reasons that Arizona, and Hawaii for that matter, don’t change our clocks around, was a mystery to me, because I guess I never really thought about WHY the rest of you lunatics do switch your clocks around. Then, the reason why Arizona and Hawaii don’t do it becomes obvious. I still haven’t figured out what the deal is with “Parts Of Indiana” though :-)

See, part of the reason that Arizona doesn’t do it, is….. We don’t want to, because it doesn’t make sense. More on that in a moment. The other reason, is….. geography. If you think about it, the major population centers are The Phoenix, and Tucson metropolitan areas. This area, is known as The Valley Of The Sun, but it also has an interesting alias. It’s also geographically known as….. The Sonoran Desert.

Figured it out yet? Here’s the other hint, as to why DST doesn’t make sense. The reason for changing your clocks, is to give you a time warp, that allows an extra hour of sunshine in the summertime.

Got it now? SIGH….. OK, For the brain dead…..

Phoenix and Tucson Are In The Sonoran Desert.

In The Summertime, The Sun Shines In The Desert….. ALLOT.

DST Gives An Extra Hour Of Sunshine In The Summertime.

Extra sunshine in the summertime? Did somebody say….. Extra sunshine in the summertime? Are you NUTS? We get 300 days of sunshine per year around these parts, already! Guess what..... We don’t WANT any more freaking sunshine in the summertime. We get PLENTY already. I'll bet that No DST participation, makes sense for us Zonies and those Hawaiians, to you now, eh?

Still….. I can’t figure out what's up with those Hoosiers :-)

Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place Like Home

2005-10-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

My next door neighbor is selling their house, and moving out, and BOY am I happy. It's not that they aren't very nice people, but about a year ago, they decided to get this little rat dog for their son, and apparently, the son has gotten tired, or bored with it, so they leave it outside most of the time. This poor dog is obviously suffering from separation anxiety, since it barks.... no, I mean, Yaps it head off CONSTANTLY, at all hours of the day and night. I guess I don't understand why people get pets, if they don't want to accept the multi-year responsibility that goes with it, or at least, rescue the poor animal from it's existence, and give it to the animal shelter, so they can find someone who wants it. OK, OK, rant and rave is done.

The real reason that I'm happy they're selling their house is..... the asking price. See, they way developers build houses around here in Az, is, the developer buys a piece of land, then their architect designs multiple "Models" of houses that fit the plots. There are also multiple upgrades, and changes that can be made to the models, to make them different from the other models. Some of these developments, can exceed 500 houses, or more. Dell Webb (The Sun City Guy), even purchased land North of Phoenix, and is planning to eventually put down 5,000 houses. That development is now big enough to be classified as "The Town" of Anthem. My developer, in contrast, purchased a piece of land, that turned into 60 houses. We still got a bunch of different models, because the developer was finishing another development nearby, and just reused those 7 Models, ranging from 1100 sq ft, to more then 3,000 sq ft.

Anyway, it just so happens that my original next door neighbor purchased the same model as mine, the 3 bdrm, 2 bath, 1314 sq ft 2 Car Garage, 1 story model. Fortunately, they also decided to select one of the other 3 front façade's that were available, so the front of their house looks different then mine. It also seems like they did not invest in as many upgrades as I did, and also, my house sits on the corner property. The point that I'm getting to, is that my house would most certainly sell for more then theirs. The reason this makes me so happy, is that the price they are asking for their house is..... $300K!

I thought there must be some mistake, since when I refinanced my home ~ 2 years ago, the appraisal was $151K. The thing is, as many of you who live outside the "Valley Of The Sun" Phoenix area may not know, is that the housing market has been exploding here, the past few years. Still..... it seemed over priced to me, until the wife mentioned that they had refinanced this past June, and at that time, their appraisal was..... $240K!

HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE...... Shuffle Shuffle Shuffle, kick, Turn Spin. Did I already mention that my house was "Better" then theirs? HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE..... Boogie Woogie, Boogie Oogie Oogie..... Did I remember to say, That My plot was better too? LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, Oh I'm so Happy, I'm so Happy. Wanna hear the best part? I was talking to one of the "Potential Buyers" last weekend. Turns out, he buys houses, as investment properties, and then rents them out..... To Arizona State University Co-Eds. He says that "Women Take Better Care Of His Houses". Hummmmm, wouldn't that be sexual housing discrimination?

WHO CARES :-)

I'm keeping my fingers crossed :-)

In Memory Of Max..... A Really Great Dog

2005-10-12T06:55:00.000-07:00

Caution: Possible Tearjerker Ahead

My Dog Max passed away a few weeks ago. I had already decided to write a tribute to him, but it's taken me this long to pull myself together enough to do it. If you are a long time reader of SOL, you know that my 2 dogs, Julie and Max have "starred" frequently in my stories. Needless to say, I miss him very much already.

It was Cancer. Leukemia, and the worst kind. By the time it was diagnosed, it was already too late. He was "Stage 4", which means that it had already migrated into his bone marrow, along with an enlarged liver, spleen, and labored breathing. The Oncology Specialist I took him to for the 2nd opinion, said that if I wanted to, they would need to start "Aggressive Chemical Chemotherapy" AND Radiation. The best case prognosis..... 8 additional months, worst case..... 3 Months, or if I did nothing..... 1 week, and in either of the first 2 options, it would be expensive. Yeah..... As if I FREEKIN CARE about the money. I don't.

The ONLY thing I cared about was by baby. The side effects of Canine Chemo/Radiation, are pretty much the same as humans. Weakness, nausea, hair fallout, etc etc etc. Sure, it would have given him some small additional life, but what kind of life is that? So, although it really...... really..... broke my heart, I decided to let him go peacefully. He passed away painlessly, in my arms, which is the way I believe that he would have wanted it. So, in honor of Max, I give you, some of the happier moments that we had, in his short, but wonderful life......

I didn't know which of the 6 puppies in the 7 week old litter to pick. They were ALL very cute, and appeared to be happy dogs, so how is a person supposed to decide? Turns out I didn't choose, I was chosen. I was sitting on the floor, and while most of the puppies were jumping around like maniacs, there was one who was sort of sitting in the middle of the fray, looking around at the other 5 like they were nuts or something. Then "He" came over to me, sniffed around my legs for a little while, then crawled into my lap, curled up, and went to sleep. Just like he "belonged there". Done deal. On the way home, I had the "brilliant idea" to keep "him" in a box on the passenger seat. Well, he had a different idea. Just as I pulled away from the curb, he began yapping and barking his head off, while trying his best to climb out of the box, and failing that, was trying to chew the top edge of the box off to "escape". I had to pull over, and the only way that I could get him to settle down, was to let him ride the rest of the way home in my lap. He promptly rewarded me on the way home, by peeing on me.

I was apprehensive about his introduction to my other Springer Spaniel "Julie", who was by that time, 1.5 years old. So when I got home, I held Max in my hands, which is not easy to do with a squirming puppy, and let Julie smell him all over, before I put him down on the floor. "Max" sniffed Julie a couple of times, then promptly walked over to Julies dog food bowl, and "Helped Himself" to Julies dinner. Julie looked at him, then looked at me, looked back at him, then back at me, and the message on her face was pretty clear..... "What the heck is that, and how long is it staying"?

I Should have known that Max was going to be a handful as a puppy, the day I caught him chewing on my $400.00 Panasonic Stereo Speaker Bass Cone. I was in the back bedroom, and I heard a popping noise along with the music from the living room stereo. I ran into the living room, and Max was gnawing on the center of the bass speaker cone, trying to peel it away, while Julie was laying WAY across the living room, as far away as she could get. The look on her face was, "See, it's not me doing that, nope, not me, I have nothing to do with that". She knew the rules: NO CHEWING ON THE FURNITURE INSIDE THE HOUSE. Chew on the tree branches, and dig holes in the back yard..... fine. Do the same thing inside the house, NOT FINE. I don't believe in physically hitting my dogs, but let's just say, that Max also learned this lesson that day. Although it still sounded fine, I always meant to fix that speaker cone. Now..... I don't think I will.

Of course, Julie and Max eventually became great friends, AFTER the hierarchy of our "Pack Family" was adjusted. I'm not sure if it was ever settled just who was "Dog #2" and who was "Dog #3". It seemed to be a shared power, but there was no doubt as to the family unity. It was best observed by "The Fight At The Dog Park". There was this Husky, that wanted to demonstrate his "dominance" over Max, in the way that dogs do (if you catch my drift). Max didn't like it, and so I went over and pushed the husky away. Well, that pissed off the huskies owner, so we got into an argument. My position: "You better control your Dog, because mine doesn't seem to like what yours is doing". His position: "Screw you, that's what dogs do". So, naturally since the huskies owner didn't give a crap, the Husky did it again, only this time it was JULIE who came out of nowhere, growling and barking, and a 2 on 1 Dog Fight ensued. It only lasted a few seconds, before the owners intervened, and of course NOW the Husky Owner was pissed off. My response: "Your dog jumped on mine, and BOTH of my dogs didn't like that, so your dog got bit. THAT'S WHAT DOGS DO TOO". During the second heated argument, both Julie and Max, started growling at the huskies owner, probably due to the tone of "daddy's voice" towards him. Needless to say, things cooled off quickly, and there was no further "trouble" from either the Husky, or it's so called, owner.

Max was kind of a bully, strong willed, and defiant, but no matter how big and bad you THINK you are, it's wise to remember, there's ALWAYS somebody whose bigger and badder. Max met his match, when he met up with..... The Goose. Ya see, I use to take the dogs to this man made stream, that ran through one of the nearby housing complexes. They loved to run up and down the stream, and even occasionally take a dunk in the stream. That's why I always brought towels. Anyway, one day, there was this flock of geese there, and naturally, Max's curiosity got the best of him, and he strayed too close to a mommy goose, and her goslings. Max was just curious, but he should have heeded the squawking from mommy goose to stay away. Instead, he had to bark back, and "challenge" mommy goose. For his effort, he got nipped in the leg. MAN, I never heard Max "scream" before, or since, and he took off running so fast, it took me about 250 yds of running to catch up with him. I guess Max, and his minor cut leg learned that day, that no matter how badass you think you are, there's always somebody who's more badass then you.

I guess, what it all boils down to, is that although Max WAS very strong willed, and sometimes tried to get his way by bullying me, and those around him, in his quieter moments, he was a strong, devoted, and loving dog, that I know..... would have given his life in a heartbeat, to save either mine, or Julies, and although his life was short, and he died way too young, I know that there aren't many dogs who had such a good life, or who lived it so well. I miss you terribly Max, and I'll always Love You. Rest In Peace my friend.

Max 1999-2005

Bowling Bowling Bowling..... Keep Those Balls A Rolling.....

2005-08-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

So, I joined up with a Bowling league a few weeks ago, and the season just ended. I use to bowl in Leagues quite a bit, and yes, I have my own shoes, ball and bag, the whole nine yards. I guess I went ahead and got the shoes, just so I wouldn't have to wear those funky colored rental ones, because who knows what kind of toe funk is in there. OK, I admit it, I bought the shoes because they are cool looking.

So anyway, the adventure Club that I belong to made some deal with the Bowling Alley, to let us create a 6 week league. That's unusual, because most leagues, if I remember correctly, were ~ 14-16 weeks long for summer, and 32 weeks long for winter. Now, I like to bowl, but not THAT much. 6 weeks in a row, is about right.

The thing I like, is that it is a "Handicap League", in which bowlers have extra pins added to their scores, based on their teams average, vs. the avg. of the team you bowl against. It sort of levels the playing field between the good bowlers, and the not so good. Anyway, it's not supposed to be about the winning, it's all for fun of course, but like one of my old coaches use to say, "It's more fun..... to win".

So, we had 4 teams of 3 players each, and if you are not familiar with League Play, you bowl 3 games once per week, and a possible 4 "points" can be won at each meeting. 1 point awarded for which team wins each game, and one point awarded for "Total Wood", which is the total number of pins knocked down, including the handicap pins. This week, was the final week, and my team was in second place..... by 1 point. So there was a chance.

We were not bowling the 1st place team this week, we were bowling the 3rd place team, so in order for us to win, we would need to bowl very well, and we needed the first place team to stink. Unfortunately for us, the first place team included a 175 average bowler. Let's just say, my team was going to need some luck. Basically, if everyone on the team bowls at least their average score, you have a good chance to win. So of course, that didn't happen.

My first game, I threw a 122. Not a bad score, unless your average happens to be 144, that is. The other 2 bowlers on my team threw their average, so basically we lost the first game because of me. Fun huh? Wait. I don't know if it was the beer I started drinking about 1/2 way through the first game, but in the second game, I threw a 182, with 5 strikes and a "turkey" ( 3 strikes in a row), so not only did we win the second game..... because of me, but we pulled 12 pins ahead of the other team, in total wood, at that point. In the third game, I threw a 154, and the other 2 members also threw above their averages, so we won the third game, and total wood, for a final last night point win of 3-1, which technically put our team from 1 point behind, to 2 points ahead in the league. It all depended then, on how the first place team was doing, so afterwards, I went over to the other lane.....

The first place team was 1/3 of the way through their 3rd game, at the start of the 4th frame. They had already won the first game by 95 pins, AND, the second game, by 1 pin. So, that meant that they had already won 2 of the 4 points, and were therefore at that point, tied with us for 1st place. The best I could hope for then, was a tie, but the ONLY way, for us to finish the League in a tie, was IF, the 4th place team, beat the first place team in the last game, by MORE THAN 96 pins. Fat chance huh? Oh ye of little faith.

The automated scoring system keeps a running total of the scores, including handicaps, but unless the timing of the 2 teams bowlers throwing their balls is equal, it can be difficult to determine who is winning, while the game is going on. As best I could tell in the 4th frame, the team I needed to win, was behind by 25 pins (sigh). Of course, that was before I began applying my powers of "Mental Assistance". What I do, is force the pins to fall over by sheer force of will. I direct all my "Bowling Karma", at the pins down the alley, to MAKE THEM fall over, or stand up, as the particular moment, and bowler requires.

Hey, don't laugh, "Tom's Bowling Karma", has certainly been a running joke among my "friends" in the league, but even the most hard core bowlers will agree, that Tom all too frequently, "gets lucky", when a wobbly pin is standing, and he jumps up and down, and "makes it fall over", or using his "leaning body language", to "cause" the ball to stay straight for long enough, to graze, and knock over, that last pin. People often say, "Oh that was just luck". My response? "So what, I take luck, it works for me" :-)

So it actually comes down to the 10th and final frame, the 4th place team is ahead, but I can't tell by how much, but it's close to the 96 I need, and so I give the 4th place team, my "Be The Ball", naa-naa-naa-naa-naa-naa-naaa Karma, like in that movie Caddy Shack? And I'll be damned, if they then proceeded to throw what must have been the best frame of their entire league, and the final score of their 3rd game....... A 4th place team win, by 112 pins!!!!!!

YEAH YEAH YEAH BABY BABY, HAPPY DANCE, HAPPY DANCE, Boogie Woogie, Boogie Woogie, Shuffle Shuffle Shuffle Shufle, Kick, Turn, Spin". If you've never seen me do it, think about if you've seen "Snoopy" dancing. It's very similar :-) Even Mr. "Super Bowler" on the other team wasn't too disappointed, since by his calculation, his team had blown it, and dropped to second place. When I informed him that actually, the league ended in a tie, he was so happy, that he then bought a round of drinks for all 12 of us.

That shows me good sportsmanship, which in my opinion, is SORELY lacking, in most of today's "Trash Talking" sports environment. Maybe there is hope for humankind after all :-)

Remembering Peter Jennings

2005-08-09T18:29:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard, Peter Jennings, the ABC Anchor lost his battle with Lung Cancer last week. I felt sort of worse then most about this, because you see, I knew him, and I even worked with him once..... sort of.

You see, I'm signed up with this local company, that does "Focus Groups" and "Market Research". Apparently, I must fall smack dab in the middle of many manufacturers target audience, because these guys call me up all the time, to come down and..... taste their new breakfast cereal, watch there new commercials, yada yada yada, then afterwards, There's a recorded round table discussion. Why do I bother to do it? Well, the place is only a 10 minute drive from my house, they usually feed you a deli plate, and they pay you. $25.00/hr, for usually 2 hours..... cash, if you get my drift :-)

So anyway (I'm getting to it, patience) I was also doing this stuff when I was in CA, and a bunch of years ago, just before the Clinton/Bush Senior Debates, they call me up, ask me a bunch of political questions, and then say "We're having a political round table discussion at Stanford University with Peter Jennings of ABC News, do you want to participate?"

DHUUUUUUUUUUUU HELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO

Do I want to participate? shoot, who the heck, doing this type of marketing "work", wouldn't want to meet the top ABC Newsman. So I say..... "Ummmmm sure, That would be OK". HA! WAS I MR. COOL AND COLLECTED, OR WHAT! So then she says, OK, OH, and "By The Way", they're going to be taping it for showing Nationally on ABC News!

I dropped the phone.

Mr Cool, huh? Anyway, I go up there, and there's like 10 of us plus Peter, we do the 1 hour roundtable discussion, which gets shown on Nightline, blah blah blah, I'd be more specific about it all, but this is not about me, or the real Peter Jennings Story I'm telling. Bear with me, it's worth it.

After the "Show was in the can", so to speak, ABC News served us a deli spread, and you figure that ole Peter would run off to converse with world leaders or some such thing, but instead, ole Peter came over and joined us for the food. I kid you not, then he spent his time, telling us stories about his Canadian origins, his early days in the news business, and things in general, to a starry eyed 10 person fan club, and it was during that conversation that I think I got to see the man beyond the "News Face" that most people get to see.

Afterwards, the Market Research Person comes up to me, and says "We think you had some great opinions tonight". "Thanks", says I. "And Peter Jennings thinks that you had some good opinions too". "He DOES?", says I. WOW, tell I'm I said thanks. "Well, you can tell him yourself, because Peter and ABC want you to come up to SFO , watch the upcoming Presidential debates, and give Peter your opinions again". CAN.... YOU..... BELIEVE..... IT? Wait, there's more.

I say (Mr Cool) SURE, and, so, are they going to tape it again? Because of course, I was hoping for "More 15 seconds of fame", and she says, "Ummmmm, no, they want to do a live Nationwide Satellite Hookup. You watch the Debate, then give your opinions to Peter..... and the Nation".

WHAT? Millions Of People Watching Me? Probably. :-)

So I go up there, and they treat myself and the other lady selected, like royalty. I ALMOST actually asked them to physically kiss my butt (just kidding), Peter remembers my name, tells me he likes my tie, and everybody remains cool, clam, and collected, when my microphone dies ~ 15 seconds before going on air. Peter ad libs over to the people set up in Atlanta, and the local crew races around to fix it before they come back to us. (WHEW) and bottom line, it all turned out to be a big success. But the thing I remember most, is that once again, it felt like Peter went the extra step, to make us TV "Newbies" feel comfortable, and self assured.

I have to say, the whole experience, the back slapping and high fiving of my friends, the admiration of millions of TV viewers, (smirk), and the congratulatory love fest, that went around my family, served to really show me, how stars can get "Big Heads". It was easier then I thought. Plus, because I did The First, and The Third debates, my "15 seconds of fame" actually lasted 2 weeks, and looking back, I have to say, that it was, all in all one of the GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE, and I figure I owe it all, to Peter Jennings. The best thing of all, I still have The Video Tape :-)

So Peter, wherever you are, up there, Anchoring that Great Anchor Desk up above, I have to tell ya, Thanks very very very much, for what you did for me. I'm gonna miss ya man. RIP

No, We'll Never Know...... What Might Have Been

2005-08-03T11:59:00.000-07:00

This week, I've been thinking about alternate paths of reality. You know, had someone done this, instead of that, how different would things be today?

I guess it's because there's been so much in the news this weekend about the London bombings, The 9/11 WTC, and terrorism in general, and who's "fault" it is. Do you want to know something? A good portion of it didn't have to happen. That's where the alternate path comes in. As incredible as it seems, it's actually the Saudi Arabian Government, and/or The Bush Administration, that could have sent us down that "other path". See, I found out a little detail this weekend, that sent my brain off on this alternate reality thing.

Turns out, when Saddam invaded Kuwait (remember that?), Osama Bin Laden, originally wanted to battle Saddam Hussein, who he considered a "Bad Muslim", and push him out of Kuwait. The Saudi Arabian Govt turned him down, and decided to take George Bush up on his "offer" instead. That was probably the moment, when OBL began to believe that there was some sort of Saudi/USA conspiracy to "Destroy Islam". Yup, we could have stayed out of it completly, believe it or not. I know that hindsight is always 20/20, but consider this alternate "reality"..........

Alternate Reality
===========
The Saudi Arabian Govt says "Sure OBL, go get that bastard SH away from our Saudi/Kuwait Border, yes, go, go and kick his ass". So OBL gets his Mujadeen (sp?) buddies, and declares a "Holy War", not against the USA, but instead, against the "Islamic Infidel who has invaded his Kuwait neighbor". If OBL doesn't manage to defeat and push SH back to Iraq, he should at least hurt him enough, so that Saudi Arabia can send those F15 Tomcats they got from us, over there to wipe out the remains of "The Republican Guard". SH is defeated, Kuwait returns to their Islamic Monarchy, the US still gets the desired recovered Kuwaiti oil, and OBL gets to do "The Work Of Allah", all without any US involvement at all.

Then, later on, IF we DO decide there is a need to invade Iraq, we might have had, not only the support of OBL, and Saudi Arabia, but possibly some support, from a good portion of the Islamic Middle East. Get rid of the War Monger in their midst, and we're just finishing what the Holy Warriors started. Upon the inevitable eventual defeat and disgrace of SH, and with the support of Iraq's neighbors, the situation in Iraq stabilizes more quickly then it otherwise would have, and the country adopts a Constitution, based on some sort of Islamic/Monarcy/Democracy. The US "Holy Libration Force", leaves.
==================

Yes, of course, I realize that in this alternate reality, The US does not get to establish the "Republican Democracy" that GWB, and the current US Administration, appears to be attempting to establish, in several areas of the Middle East, and certainly, there is no guarantee that a stable government would have evolved in Iraq under my hypothetical scenario, but as far as I can tell, it sure hasn't seemed to stabilize yet, or evolved much, in our current reality either.

So, Despite the Controversial Topic, or the potential for pissing off the Wildly Diverging Social and/or Political opinions of my potential reader "Fan Base" (cough)......... there is a MORE IMPORTANT bigger picture point, that I'm trying to make. I know this SOL is a little long winded, but I am trying to get to the point, so please Humor me for 1 more second, and consider this.......

Regardless of your individual political and/or social point of view, of the US "War On Terrorism", It's no secret, whether it is true or not, that there is a good majority of the Islamic world today, that considers the USA to be some sort of Imperialistic Bastard, that is bent on wiping out the Islamic Faith, but IF..... IF..... Instead of what DID happen, instead, the Saudi Gov't, way back when, had accepted OBL's offer, then the current attitude of a good majority of the Islamic world, might be very different, and possibly directly opposite, from what it is today. True, we may not have been able to establish the "US Type Gov'ts" in the Middle Eastern World, that we seem so determined to do, but consider the Bigger Picture..........

If.... Saudi Arabia had done differently, or IF..... the US had refused the Saudi request, then face it, with Billions in oil revenue at stake, and with SH's troops at their border, Saudi Arabia might have been forced to accept OBL's offer. Then OBL would have his victory against an infidel, the Islamic World would have mostly taken care of their own problem, and Osama Bin Laden, and a good portion of the Islamic World, might not be in philispohical conflict with the US, and in fact, it's not impossible, that their attitude toward the USA might today even have been catagorized as "friendly".

My point..... IF..... That were the case, then, in this hypothetical alternate "reality", while granted, we wouldn't have been able to "spread" our US type democracy in the Middle East, and GWB's buddies wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to get their hands on all that Iraq oil, but there also, might have then been no reason, for a good portion of the current worldwide terrorist bombings, or the War In Iraq......... or even....... the 9/11 bombings of The World Trade Center.

Relinquising Political Power, and giving up billions in oil revenue, in exchange for thousands of lives. I don't know about you, but it sure sounds like that would have been a good trade, to me. I guess instead I'll just have to accept that we'll never know, what might have been........

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2005-05-27T10:01:00.000-07:00

If you haven't noticed, as far as my SOL writings go, I sort of tend to keep most of my personal life to myself. I don't talk about my finances, my love life, etc etc, mostly because I basically feel that it's NOYB :-) but I think, that just this once.....

For reasons that I won't go into, my Dad and I didn't have a close relationship, from my pre-teen years, into adulthood. Then I joined the Marines, and moved away from NYC, blah blah blah blah blah, long and boring story, that you don't want to hear, trust me.

Happily for me, all that mostly changed in the late 90's, after I moved to PHX from CA, and Dad retired and moved here too, (across town.....Whew). I guess Dad came to the conclusion that Sun was better then snow, go figure.

Anyway, one of the things that we both shared was a love of sports, particularly, baseball. We had partial season tickets to the Diamondbacks, as well as the basketball Suns, and the Football Cardinals, but our favorite was baseball. Through that interaction, I got the chance to know my Dad in a way that I never had the opportunity to in my youth.

The thing is, unfortunately, Dad passed away late last year, and after the initial shock and grief, I realized that I was left with one more set of Diamondbacks tickets. The last game of the season. Of course, I was in no frame of mind to attend, so they went to waste, and I haven't been back to the ballpark since. Until this week.

This week, was May 26. FYI, May 26 was Dad's birthday. He would have been 73. The Diamondbacks were playing the Padres, so I got a ticket. Of course, the seat didn't matter, because the crowd was light, and I had no intention of sitting there anyway. So, I go over to section 306, row 14, seat 16 & 17, and..... there's somebody sitting there :-(

Can you believe it? The damn stadium is 3/4 empty, and somebody is freekin sitting in OUR seats. A nice middle aged couple though, and although I usually don't share personal info with strangers, after I sat down next to them, and told them my story, the wife hugged me, and they both immediately moved down the row. When I sat down, It was kind of eerie. My entire body "goose bumped", and I swear, I could feel every hair stand on end. Another thing, although I know that I was physically sitting there by myself, there were a few times during the game, that I could have sworn that I felt.....something. Crazy huh?

Everyone deals with pain and grief in their own way. I think that psychologically, this trip to the ballbark, may have brought me some closure, and I think that now I even feel a little better. I'm very sure, that I won't be sitting in those particular seats ever again, but I have to say, that even though it was initially a tough thing for me to do, and the Diamondbacks got slaughtered by the Padres 10-0, I think that for me, it turned out to be a very good game :-)

Don't Laugh..... I Learned CPR

2005-05-09T13:07:00.000-07:00

Hey, First off..... All I want to ask, is..... Don't laugh..... OK?

So, I went to an on-site company sponsored class last week. The subject? C.P.R. For those that don't know, that stands for Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation, or, Chest Compressions, used primarily to force an unbeating heart to pump blood through the body, in the hopes that the brain can be kept alive, until medical personnel can respond to the situation.

Remember..... You promised not to laugh.....

So, anyway, We go to this class, which is being taught by a Doctor from one of the most prestigious hospitals in the Phoenix area. He shows a bunch of informational slides, he has the standard "Dummy" to practice on, an we all get a chance to practice our CPR techniques as described in the slides, and everyone is pretty much successful.

OK, OK, steel yourself..... Remember your promise......

Up to this point, you probably think I'm a little nuts for suggesting that I might think that anyone might find the learning of CPR to be funny, or amusing, or comical in any way, after all, it's training to save a life in "desperation", right? So what's so potentially, funny? Well, while I was truthful in revealing that the class was indeed on CPR, when I tell my local friends about it, the thing that people seem to find amusing, is that the type of CPR I learned, was..... unusual. You see, the type of CPR I learned was.......

PET CPR For Dogs And Cats

HEY!!! QUIT LAUGHING, I SEE YOU :-)

What? What? Hey, if you thought I was talking about "Human" CPR, well, I never actually said that. If you go back and read the first paragraphs, I never actually referred to "human beings", or "people" when I talked about CPR, or referred to "The Doctor" (A Vet), or "The Hospital" he came from, which btw, happens to be Phoenix's finest animal hospital.

Besides, if your Dog, or cat, happened to get an electrical shock, or fall in the swimming pool, or have any number of other accidents that might stop their heart, would YOU know what to do? Do you know where your Dog or Cats heart is? I didn't. I do now. To find it, just fold your Dog/Cat's front leg back (up), until it's "elbow" touches it's chest. Right there. Now, the chest compressions are the same technique as human, EXCEPT, that the pet lays on it's side, instead of it's back, and Pet CPR, is twice the pace of human, and 15 compressions instead of 5 between rescue breaths. Pulse can be taken 1/2 way up, inside either hind leg, near the joint. That's it, so now you're as "smart" about Pet CPR, as I am.

Ummmmmm, btw, did I forget to mention the Rescue Breathing? HEY..... You said that you weren't going to laugh. :-) Anyway, It's not the human, Mouth To Mouth type, it's more like....Mouth to cupped hand, wrapped around closed muzzle, and over nose. What.....? Do you want to save the pet's life, or not? I though so :-) If you can visualize, the correct technique, is to use the heel of your hand to hold the muzzle closed, forming a "tube" with your fingers around the muzzle/nose, and then, it's like your "blowing a dart through the tube" . Again, at twice the speed of human Rescue Breathing. There, that's REALLY it. All in all, for me, I thought it was a very informitive class.

Besides, I met a couple of very nice "Dog and/or Cat People" that work around here, that I didn't know before, and they seem like real nice people. So, it seems like every person....... ummmmm I mean, everyone, came out a winner in this deal, eh?

I'm Leaving..... On A Jet Plane.....

2005-03-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

Guess where I am right now??? Kalispell........ Where? Yeah, that's what I said too. Kalispell is a fairly small town in Montana, ~ 30 miles south of the Canadian border! What the HECK am I doing up here??? Oh..... You know, I guess I just got "tired" of all that BEAUTIFUL 80deg Phoenix weather, and decided to go hang out in the snow..... again. The last time I had this "temporary snow insanity", I ended up for a week, in Boston :-)

Seriously, I'm up here for a week of training, on business, and it's beginning to appear, that I may be finished with my business a day early. Soooooo, since the expenses are already arranged, and paid for, and it would be SUCH a hassle, not to mention expense, to change the airplane tickets, I may have to end up staying that extra last day..... SIGH.....BTW, which way did you say it was, to the "Big Mountain" ski resort :-)

Anyway, some First Impressions.....

Man, Big Sky, is beautiful country. What isn't covered by mountains, all seems to be covered with either forest, or farmland. Picture Postcard views from the air, when I flew in.

The airport runway at Kalispell, must be short. Our Jet Pilot, must have needed to hit the beginning of the runway, because the final approach was a steep 45deg bank, with "nose down", and although I've flown allot, this was the first time EVER, that I thought, just for a second..... just for a second..... that we were going to freaking crash..... And if you've never had that feeling, trust me, you don't want it. (Whew)

The Hotel is very old style. Lots of wood, antiques, and thick cushions. I kind of prefer that to the more modern looking, brand new, Hampton Inn down the street.

Kalispell may not be a "One Horse Town", though I'm certain there must not be more then a half dozen horses around here someplace........ They also have several stoplights.....

To be con't......

I Scored 45, How About You?

2005-03-09T10:14:00.000-07:00

Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55--he did this test on Oprah-she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now...... not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper to keep track of your letter answers.
=====================================================
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with...
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckl! e
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to! stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are ! in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep....
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.

51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but
someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions &who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Cookie Here, Cookie There, Cookie Cookie, Everywhere

2005-02-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. I'm being bombarded by cookies, ie: the annual "Girl Scout Cookie Blitz". Every year I say to myself, that's it, I'm not buying cookies from every little girl in a green outfit that comes knocking on my door, no way, no how. So, of course this year, I ended up buying from all of them..... again.

I can't help it. I was a Boy Scout from age 11-18, and growing up in Manhattan NYC, I think that I initially did it because the first Troop that I belonged to (Troop 680 - Holy Rosary Catholic Parish Sponsored) had a standing policy of trying to go camping at least once every other month, and when you grow up in The Concrete Jungle of NYC, going out into the middle of the forest, and pitching tents, and cooking over open fires, was like being transported to another life, I loved it. If it wasn't for my Scouting experiences, there's no doubt in my mind that I would be a different person today.

So anyway, despite the fact that they deleted my favorite "Macadamia Nut" cookies, I guess I'll have to console myself with the Chocolate backed shortbread ones, the peanut butter ones, the oatmeal ones, and all the rest that haven't been delivered to my doorstep yet. As far as I remember, I THINK that I have either 10, or 12 boxes coming. That may not sound like allot of cookies to some families with kids, but my household is just me. If you don't count an occasional oatmeal cookie that "somehow" the dogs get.

Soooooooo, I guess I'll just have to "suffer" through it. SIGH...... it's a "rough" life. It's going to take quite a bit of additional workouts on my elliptical machine, to burn off all those calories, and it's a tough job, eating all those cookies, but somebody's just..... got to do it. Next year, I won't go so order crazy, next year, it will be different....

Sure it will :-)

There's Never A Tooth Fairy Around When You Need One

2005-02-04T09:52:00.000-07:00

You know when the Dentist says, "It's just going to be a deep cleaning"? Don't believe it. OK OK, it's my fault for letting it go so long, but I have this tooth.....

It's way in the back, in the lower right side of my jaw. It was in bad shape, when they root canalled it, and capped it about 2 years ago, and I recall the Dentist at that time DID say, that there wasn't much tooth there, and it probably wouldn't last, so..... I wasn't surprised when the cap came off. I should have had it glued back in, but I didn't, and so that tooth got all abscessed, and...... well, I'll spare you the gory specifics. The point is, it had to come out.

So, in addition to the Novocain for the deep cleaning, I had the pleasure of an EXTRA injection, and of course, since the tooth was so far back in my mouth, and there wasn't much tooth to grab..... Well, let's just say, it wasn't easy. When they give you 3 injections, and a prescription for Vicoden painkillers afterwards, you can tell it wasn't a simple "Brush, Rinse, and Spit".

Anywaaaaaaay, there is some good news, sort of. I still have a tooth opposing the removed one in my upper jaw, so even though the removal can't be seen, if I don't put something in there, the upper tooth won't have anything to oppose it, and the forces of gravity will eventually cause it to fall out. Fun huh? So they start telling me about this wired up "appliance" that they can make, which I have to remove when I eat, and every night to rinse it off..... Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah...... Baloney.

I just got done doing the LASIK, so I wouldn't have to screw around with the contact lenses every day anymore, and now they want to make me do this every day. Buzzzzzzzzzz wrong answer, so I'm going with the better (ie: more expensive) method of an Implant! Have you heard of this? They implant a titanium screw into your jaw, and then the jawbone fuses with the porous metal of the screw, becoming permanent, and then they can "clamp" a fake tooth onto the top of the screw. No removal, no rinsing, no nothing. Permanent. So I'm going to go that route.

Besides, it should provide some "interesting" future SOL postings, don't you think? Wish me luck :-)

Dinner Anyone?

2005-01-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hey..... Normally, you wouldn't see another SOL this soon, but something happened on Wednesday that scared the crap out of me. My Adventure Club went out to our Monthly "Cultural Dinner" this week, and in addition to dinner, I ALMOST suffered bodily injury.

No, not due to the food. Although the place that we went to was very unusual. We went to a restaurant that served..... Ethiopian Food! Yeah, I know what you're thinking, I thought so too, but hey, I was wrong, it was actually quite good.

They serve it in big plates for 2, that you share with the person across from you, and there was a pile of beef in the middle with 2 sets of 6 vegetable/potato piles, with one set of veggie piles on each side of the plate, and get this..... No Eating Utensils. They serve the plate with this bread type thing, that is sort of like a thick spongy crepe'. You tear off a rectangle of the bread, drape it over whatever you want to pick up, and "pinch" the bread around the food, and eat it like that. Cool huh? I found it to be a little spicy, but I LOVE spicy, so I thought it was GREAT!

So, what was the bodily injury part? Well, the dinner started at 6:30pm, so that means, rush hour traffic. I'm driving down Chandler Blvd, in the center lane, and at 1 stoplight, I glance to my left, and the woman driver is fiddling with her radio. We go down a ways, and I move into the left lane, to turn set up to left in a few lights at Arizona Ave. We come to a normal stop at the next light, with 3 cars ahead of me, and I glance up in the rear view mirror, and I see about 6 car lengths of space, and Headlights coming at me..... WAY TOO FAST. It feels like slow motion, but I look forward again, mentally WILLING the cars ahead of me to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY! Then I hear brakes locking up, and tires squealing behind me, and I braced my head against the headrest awaiting the expected impact.....

At that moment, the car ahead of me started to move, and I SLAMMED my foot down on the accelerator, and quickly JAMMED it back on the brake, and my Jaguar Leaped forward about 3 feet, and stopped before hitting the car in front of me, and the expected impact from behind........ Didn't happen (WHEW). I looked in my side mirror, and the car behind me, was at a 45 degree angle, half way into the left turn lane.

The only thing I can guess, is that the combination of her turning the wheel at the last minute, with my "Leap Forward" avoided the impact, but I'm SURE that it was VERY close. To my credit, I refrained from giving her the "single finger" sign that I was tempted to, but I turned on my "Caution Flashers" the ENTIRE WAY to the next light, and when she passed me in the left turn lane at the next light, I couldn't help giving her my "dirtiest look". I think I was AT LEAST entitled to that, since she very nearly destroyed my $40K Automobile, not to mention me..... and I think she got the "Pay Attention To Your Driving You Idiot", message that I was trying to send.

So..... (Whew!) how was your week?

Can You Say..... "Grammy Award"?

2005-01-24T15:45:00.000-07:00

You may, or may not know this, but I'm a songbird. Yup, if you're one of the people who have worked around me in the last few years, you know that one of the ways I concentrate, is by "singing" to myself. Of course, some of you might not exactly call what I do "singing", and there was this one guy who I worked with in the past, who thought that I was "Crying For Help". Everybody thinks they're a comedian, don't they? Well, anyway, my apologies to those who have had to "put up with" my wailing for the past few years, but just FYI, it wasn't in vain. You see..... This past weekend, I had my first local "Public Performance"

Yup, see, it turns out that the Sports Bar near my house has karaoke on Saturday Nights, starting at 9pm. If you are familiar with the area, it's in Chandler, on the Southwest corner of Kyrene and Chandler Blvd. It use to be called "The Hitts Sportsbar", but now it's "The Regal Beagle". Hey..... I didn't name it, I just go there.

Anyway, I went there to watch a game a few Saturday's ago, and at 9:00pm, they start setting up this Karaoke Machine. Now the last time I "sang publicly" was on my vacation to cancun, over a decade ago, and let's just say..... No record companies called me. At the time, when I asked my friend how I did, she charitably said; "I think you picked the wrong song", which is friend speak for "You Sucked". But maybe she was right..... In any case, I had been going there the last few Saturday's, and this last Saturday, after getting my "Liquid Courage" up, consisting of 3 Carona's and 2 Cuervo Shots, I took the plunge.

I like their set up, because you don't have to get up on stage. They have a wireless mike, so you can grab the mike, and slink back to your table, into the relative darkness of the bar, so I figured, what the hell, right? I think that my mistake in Cancun, was trying to sing above my range. The Cancun song was more for an Alto, or maybe a Soprano, and I now know that I am somewhere more in the Baritone range. I know you're just dying to know, so the song I chose was..... The Devil Went Down To Georgia" by The Charlie Daniels Band.

Hey, don't laugh, I know all the words, and I've got the timing down pat. But just to be sure, I wrote 'First Timer" on the little slip of paper, so if I was really terrible, maybe they'd cut me some slack. So anyway, they call my name, the guy let's everybody know I'm a virgin..... Singer I mean :-) I grab the mike, slink back to the bar, and give it my best baritone shot.........

After the first verse, the bartender Rick gives me that "Fist Bump" thing, someone on the other side of the room yells out Yeeeeee Haaaaa, and after that baby, I was ROLLING! There are 2 "Fiddle Solo's" in the song, and people are doing that "Arm In Arm Square Dance Thing", in between the tables, and of course, at the finale of the song where it goes "I Dun Told You Once You Son Of A Bi.... I'm the Best That's Ever Been", I actually rose off the bar stool and jumped up and down!!

To make a long story short (Yeah Right), I got a rousing round of applause, 2 people High Five'd me along the way to bringing back up the mike, and someone (I still don't know who, hopefully female) bought me a beer. In any case I now know a little bit of what it feels like to be a performer....., even if it was only for 1 song.

So, if you aren't doing anything some Saturday Night, maybe stop on by. I'm thinking of extending my performance to a second song. I don't want to reveal the title, but all I can say, is that it has something to do with "Marvin Gaye", and it involves a "Grapevine". BTW - No autographs please :-)

Water Water Everywhere, But Not A Drop To Drink

2004-12-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

I've been having a little bit of a plumbing problem with the house recently. For those that are not local, most homes here in Az have either a dribbler water system, that sprays water just on the individual plants, or if they have grass, then they have a standard"pop up" sprinkler system for that. I have both, dribblers in the front, pop ups in the back yard. A few weeks ago, I thought I was going to have to go out back, and build myself an ARK, because the PVC Plastic pipes around the shut off valves cracked, and flooded half the back yard, and a good portion of the street. Since the Holidays were coming up, and I didn't have time to fix it, I shut off the irrigation valve, and I've just been using the hose to water the front and back yards., and I was going to go about fixing it after my Thanksgiving vacation back east. No problem, right? HA!

So, I'm standing in BJ's Warehouse Store (Think Costco, or Sam's Club) on Long Island NY, and my cell phone rings, with a call from my cleaning lady in Az, asking me "How come there's no water in the house"? WHAT?? says I, what do you mean? She says: "No water from the faucets, tubs, toilets, nothing". So I call up my friend, who's been coming over to feed the dogs, and he says: "We'll when I came by, there was water gurgling up From Around The Water Meter, in the Front Yard"...... Great, now it seems I also managed to flood the from yard as well as the back. The main problem, is that when the installer put in the PVC pipe, they used the thin wall/cheap Stuff, and OK, it's been 9 years, but it appears these pipes are beginning to fail. So, since there's nothing I can do from NY, I have to grin and bear it.

So, for the past several days since I've been back, I've been digging up the dirt from yard around the meter. It was SO NICE of the installer to put this pipe ~ 2 feet down, because I SO LOVE digging in semi-mud.... in the dark. Oh, did I forget to mention that it gets dark around 5pm now, so I have 1 whole hour to "play in the mud" each day before the sun goes down. Good thing my friend brough over several of his large camping water jugs, so that at least I can wash my hand, and flush the toilets.

All I can say is, thank goodness for the Fitness Center on my companies campus, and thank goodness I already had access to the center, and their showers, otherwise, there would be one stinky Tom running around here this week :-)

Recent Thoughts

2004-10-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

Ya know, sometimes people do heroic things in their lives, and they never tell people about it. I wish they could have known how proud their family is, and would have been.
It really is nice to see Family members from time to time, even if the circumstances of the meeting aren't the best.
You know the old saying that you don't realize what you have, until it's gone? It's true. I would add that you'll also realize that you miss it too.
I almost got bumped off of a flight recently. That would have been..... Disastrous. Fortunately, America West is very receptive, to the right words whispered in the right ear.
I'm told that I look good in black. Maybe so, but I'm sure that I would have preferred to find that out some other way.
Did you know that if you're a veteran, and end up resting in a National Place, the Branch Of Service, sends 2 Soldiers to Stand Guard, Salute, Play Taps, and conduct the Flag Folding ceremony? I didn't know that either.
I believe that a person should cherish the good, forget the bad, mourn, pick yourself up, and live on. Life is too short, and I don't think "anyone" would want me to do otherwise.

Fall Is Here...... Finally

2004-09-24T15:27:00.000-07:00

Summer is done here in Az..... good riddance, and Fall has arrived. How do I know it's fall? Easy, 2 things. Last week, we had AN ENTIRE WEEK where the air temperature Did NOT exceed 100 deg F. Heck, one morning last week when I woke up, I even had to turn on my House's heater! Hey don't laugh, it was..... 68F outside.... Burrrrrrrrrr that's cold. What's that you say? 68F isn't cold? Baloney. It is when you live in Arizona. OK, it's not actually the temperature itself that's cold, but when the daytime temperature is ~ 98F, and overnight, it drops 30 deg, baby..... It FEELS cold. Although, I must admit, it is nice to drive to work in the morning with all the car windows open, instead of having to turn on the air conditioning full blast, at 7:30am, so I guess that I'm really liking it. I'm not sure when winter is going to decide to show up. but I'll keep an eye out "For The Birds". What am I talking about? Read "The Birds Told Me, That's How I know" BLOG entry from march 2004 archive http://tomh7259.blogspot.com/2004_03_01_tomh7259_archive.html So, If anybody local sees any flocks of birds around here, that are sort of looking longingly, in a southerly direction, let me know :-)

EBAY Is The Way

2004-09-17T10:03:00.000-07:00

Guess what? I think I'm getting back into the Jerky Business. Initially, one of the reasons I sort of lost interest in doing it recently, is because doing it manually, it's a lot of work. Cutting up the Beef, and having to be around every 2-3 hours to move the trays around in the Ronco Dehydrator for even drying, was frankly a PITA. Not anymore, I've automated it.

To eliminate the manual slicing, I went on EBAY, and using my "secret technique", I was able to find, and buy a countertop electric slicer..... For only $9.00! http://tinyurl.com/3m8ro when similar models were going for > $80.00. Then I got ANOTHER sweet deal on a High Capacity Dehydrator, that blows forced hot air across all the trays at once, not only reducing the drying time, but eliminating the need to move the trays around, plus, with the unit's timer, I can set it to do it's thing overnight. This one cost me..... $42.90 http://tinyurl.com/4dtkz when similar models on EBAY were going for > $120.00. How come I got them so cheap? The Secret Technique.......

OK OK, I probably will kick myself later for revealing it, but I'll tell ya. The secret of finding good stuff on EBAY is....... People can't spell.

What? Am I nuts? Nope. Ya see, whenever somebody sells an "Item" on EBAY they have to input an "item description". That's also how most people search EBAY, by the Item description (slicer, dehydrator, washing machine, etc), but IF..... IF.... a person was to Mis-Spell the item name, it might NEVER come up on people's searches. Unless........ Oh, I don't know...... Unless........ some "smart person" (cough), was to use the item search first, but also noted the MANUFACTURER'S names, and then do another search on those. THEN they might discover additional items, in which.... For example, the word Dehydrator was spelled DehydraYtor....... or something like that http://tinyurl.com/4dtkz :-) In that case, most people wouldn't see it on their "item search", and there probably wouldn't be too much competition for that item, now would there? Shoot, if that one other "putz" hadn't discovered it, I might have won the dehydrator with my initial $19.99 bid :-) I'm not sure how I got the "Rival" Slicer so cheap though, but who cares :-)

So, anyway, a friend of mine is running some sort of Boutique in November, and she tried my Jerky, and asked me if I would be interested in bagging it up, and selling it through her. I would like to work out the "commission" details, but I think I just might be going into a limited Jerky Making business. I've already taken ~ 10lbs of London Broil out of the freezer, and I'm going to do a test run this weekend, but if someday, I end up being the Jerky King Of The USA, I guess I'll have EBAY (And Of Course, My Friend), to thank for it :-)

Recent Changes

2004-09-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Added capability to comment on individual posts. Click the "comments" link at the bottom of the post. You can then add your witty reparte' to my postings. I may even answer you! Do me a favor though please, if you post a comment, and post anonomously, can you sign at least your first name at the bottom? I sign mine TomH, and I really like knowing who I'm talking to :-)
Added capability to forward an individual SOL Post to others using email. Click on that icon that looks like an envelope at the bottom of the posts. I think Google BLOG will want email addresses entered, but it's easier then doing a "copy/paste". Either way is okey dokey with me :-)
Aded an email limk to my profile. You can "view my complete profile" from the main SOL BLOG page, and use that email address if you want to bitch at me privately. Don't worry, I have strong SPAM filters enabled there :-)

The First Week

2004-09-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

I started the new job this week. So far, so good. I have a new toolset to learn, but technologically speaking, it doesn't seem to be anything beyond my capabilities. I like to use the comparison of a Baker, who has baked bread all their lives, and now gets assigned to bake cakes. Sure, cakes are not bread, but basically, it's all Flour, Sugar, Butter and Eggs. Same thing. It's still Process Engineering, just done in a different way, on a different tool. Plus, these folks seem to be very cool. The Group as a whole has treated me with open arms. The guys even took me out for a "Teambuilder Lunch", and the place even had live lunch time entertainment. Pretty cool huh? I also noticed that the Group overall seems to have a sense of humor that is WAY off in Left Field, and warped way off center. In other words....

I think I'm going to fit right in :-)

The LASIK Experience

2004-09-03T23:56:00.000-07:00

So, I went ahead and did it. If you read my posting "To LASIK, Or Not To LASIK", you know that I was considering doing the "Darth Vader" treatment on my eyes. It's done, and...... I LOVE IT!!!!! I chose Barnett Dulaney Perkins Eye Centers. If you're not from around these parts, BDPEC is considered by most in the area as "The Mercedes Benz" of LASIK. Not the cheapest, but you get what you pay for. Besides, I'm not interested in some $499.95 coupon on the back of the TV guide. I use a coupon to wash my car, not have surgery on my eyes. Why do they need to offer a coupon anyway, are they not good enough?

So, I go in, and you fill out a bunch of paperwork. Turns out Dr. Dulaney is doing the surgery. GOOD, I don't want any "Interns" putting their hands on my eyes, ya know? And anyway, I looked into these guys backgrounds on the web, and this guy's done boatloads of these, and he seems to know what he's doing. They give me a Demerol for any pain, and get this..... A Valium for.... well who cares what it's for.... eh? My first time for Valium, and you know what..... the stories are true :-)

I kick back in the recliner, woozy out, and then they have the nicest nurses that hold your hand, guide you around when you need to walk, talk nice nice to you, and basically wait on you hand and foot. It's the best part of the procedure so far :-) I get laser'd twice, once to create the flap, and then again for the LASIK. There's no pain during the procedure, but I did have some difficulty focusing on the red dot that you're supposed to look at while they are zapping you, after they peeled back the flap. How can I focus, if I can barely see the durn thing? Minor issue.

So, to make a long story short, zap zap zap, and eye drops given by the gallon. Afterwards, they gave me these cool UV protection goggles to wear while sleeping the first week, so I don't put any pressure on my eye, and they are so cool looking, I'm even going to use them as ski goggles later. I go back the next day for follow up, and despite the routine eye swelling, everything looks perfect. GOOD JOB DOC DULANEY! The local BDPEC eye Doc, says my vision "may" improve slightly, when the swelling goes down (maybe not), but we have already hit my hoped for goal. I didn't expect to go from 20/525 (L) and 20/625 (R) to 20/20, so I was hoping for 20/30 to 20/40. Right now, the left eye is 20/25, and the right eye is 20/30. Even if I get no further improvement with the reduced swelling, I'm MORE then pleased.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. I know that you're asking the question..... The worse the eye, the more expensive, but both eyes together, including everything with follow up visits.... $3200.00 out the door. Not bad for a Mercedes IMO :-)

Onward And Upward

2004-08-26T01:48:00.000-07:00

So, many of you already know, so I guess that it's not such a big announcement. I'm leaving my current job. Yup, it's true. I've been doing this Manufacturing Process Engineering stuff now for > 7 years, and fyi, that's a record for me. The previous record "time In job", was 6 Years, in the Robotics Engineering Dept of that Medical Instrument Company. I discovered that it's usually ~ 5 years until I either get bored with the job, or it drives me crazy. I let ya guess which one it was this time. Anyway, leaving is not so bad because..... I already have a new job.... In the same company! What... What....? I didn't actually say I was "quitting", I said I was "leaving my current job". (you guys are sooooo easy). In the past, when I started to go cra...... Ummmmm I mean decided to change jobs, I had to quit the company, but here, the company allows you to change jobs after being in your current job for 1 year. Cool huh? I think so too. I'm still going to be doing Process Engineering, but now it's going to be "Development" PE, instead of "Manufacturing PE". What's the difference? Development is Pure Research and Development, while Manufacturing PE has a secondary "Fab Sustaining" component. So now, it'll be all projects, new technologies, and most important..... No Manufacturing. That was the part that was really driving me..... Ummmmm I mean, that helped me make up my mind. Also, since the person taking over my current position, had it before, I don't need to train anybody, so my release date is.... 1 week from this Friday! The only thing is, I don't believe I will be able to send out my weekly beyond my group anymore, since everything over there is hush hush, Top Secret, so I'm going to have to do something about SOL. The best idea is, I think I'm going to convert it into a BLOG. What's a BLOG? If you are not "Cool Enough" to know, I can't help you, but maybe http//:dictionary.com can help :-) In any case, I expect SOL to live on in some form. After all, I can't disappoint all my fans, right? :-)

To LASIK Or Not To LASIK, THAT Is The Question

2004-08-19T01:46:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking recently of "going under the knife". No, nothing is wrong, and I guess if I had to be more accurate, it wouldn't be "a knife" I go under, it would be.... An eximer laser. See, what's generally not known around here, is that I'm almost blind as a bat. Yes, it's true, I've been doing the "contact lens" thing now for > 20 years, and if you happened to see my 20/500 and 20/600 vision "coke bottles", you would understand why. The lenses got to be so heavy, that the nose bridge was starting to leave dents in my nose. We wouldn't want to mess up this handsome face that way.... Now would we? (HEY! Stop laughing, I see you). Anyway, I've have been considering going forward with the Lasik, but there are a few concerns..... First, I don't NEED it. It's not like someone said, "Do this Tom, or in 6 months you'll be blind", because in that case, it would be a no brainer, "Strap me down, and beam me up Scotty", but that's not the case, and I guess I have an issue with people shooting laser beams into my eyes when I don't need to. Plus, my vision is so bad, I would either need a double correction, or else, else get the latest technology, for a cost of $3K...... Per eye. Since I'm not interested in any $499.95 per eye "discount deal", I'd need to go the expensive route. And I know, they've done thousands, so the chance of problems is 1 in 1000, which is good, unless........ You happen to be "The 1", then it would su..... Ummmmm..... I mean..... stink. On the other hand, sticking pieces of plastic into my eyeballs for > 2 decades can't be good either. Sigh.... I don't know, but I think I need to do more research. In any case, I'll be sure to let you know if I have a moment of temporary insanity and decide to join the Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader/Obi Wan Kenobi..... Laser Gang, sometime in the future. Have a great weekend :-)

My Car Is Schizo

2004-08-12T01:44:00.000-07:00

I found out something interesting this week about my car. It's..... Schizophrenic. Yup, Dual Personality, Yin/Yang, The Big Brain Split, whatever you want to call it. It's got it. How do I know? It told me. No, I'm not hearing voices, it told me using the 2 line computer display on the speedometer. Usually, it displays the car's computer information, with messages like: Cruise Control On, Gas Mileage, Miles To Empty, Drivers Door Open, Hood Open, Trunk Open, you know, stuff like that. That is..... Until this week. See, last week, my car battery died. At 2.5 years, it held up pretty well under the Arizona "Cook your car battery" temperatures. It took me awhile to get it out, bring it over to Checker Auto for the trade in, and reinstall the new one. By then, the computers memory was wiped. Radio stations gone.... Etc. But something else happened. The cars display no longer speaks to me in English, it speaks..... British! Yup, Yup, I kid you not. How do I know? Isn't British and English the same? Nope. Now, the display does not tell me "Trunk Open", it says.... "Boot Open", and it no longer says "Hood Open", it says.... You Brit fans guessed it.... "Bonnet Open". Thank goodness it still displays the distance in miles, not Kilometers. So.... I guess that my car is no longer "An American", it's "A Britain", and you know what? I think I'm leaving it like that. It's kind of cool, and gives it a certain panache' to the car, don't you think? In any case, I now have an answer for those people who keep trying to insist "It's A Ford". It may sort of look like a ford on the outside, in the rear end, but what I discovered last weekend, is that in it's Heart And Soul.... It's really a JAG :-)

Thoughts On An Arizona Summer

2004-08-05T01:42:00.000-07:00

Did you ever notice that most Az Motorcycle parking is made from concrete? It's because asphalt melts in the heat, the kickstands sink, and the bike falls over.
You can always tell the Arizona newbies. How? They don't have tinted car windows, nor a windshield sunscreen.
Another way to tell? They're the one's walking along the sidewalk in the sun, instead of the shade.
This is probably one of the few places on earth, where, in the summer you'll see long haired dogs...... Shaved. I almost didn't recognize mine at the groomers.
Around here, no matter where you drive, the most desirable parking spaces are not the ones closest to the door, it's the ones under the trees.
Most Arizonans understand why Hawaiian shirts are so popular in Hawaii. It's not the colors, it's the loose (cool) fit. They're very popular here too.
This is one of the few places I've seen where the Real Estate ads note the orientation of the house, as a selling point. North/South is cooler then East/West.
You can't really fry an egg on the sidewalk here in the summertime. It'll burn too quickly.
I'm not sure who invented those "water misters" that keep patio's 20deg cooler then the surrounding area, but whoever it was, they should give them a medal.
Around here in the summertime, you'll often see fair skinned people walking around with open umbrella's. And even though there's not a cloud in the sky, nobody thinks that's a strange thing to do.
All in all, after > 10 years of living here, I long for the days of living back east, and dealing with snow............ PSYCHE! You guys are so easy :-)

Rain Rain Go Away

2004-07-28T01:40:00.000-07:00

Well, it's Monsoon time here again in Arizona. Many people outside the Valley of the sun think that it is always dry here. Not so. As us local "Zonies" know, around about the end of July through August we get Monsoon rainstorms. Oh, and I don't mean those little bitty "drizzles" that people in other parts of the country call rainstorms, or "downpours" oh no, those are nothing. If you're from out of town, think about the highest water volume storm you've ever seen..... Not even close. You've heard, and probably used terms like "downpour", "torrential rain", "it came down in buckets", and the standard "raining cats and dogs"? Well, if we were to use the same metaphors here, it wouldn't be called raining cats and dogs, more like raining rhinoceros and elephants. It rains so hard, you get soaked pushing your trashcan out to the curb. Rain so hard, I half expect some guy to be gathering animals 2 by 2, and herding them towards a boat. But that's not the cool part..... It's the lightning that precedes it. Magnificent lightning, very intense. You know how in other places, sometimes you "get lucky", and just happen to be looking up in the right direction to see lightning in the sky? Here, you don't have to search. Just look up, in any direction at all, and in a few seconds, you'll see them. Not one or two....... But Dozens. And not straight up and down bolts either, but long lasting, arcing, and branching sideways across the sky..... It's hard to describe, except to say........ Awesome. The storms are so amazing, that sometimes, people in my neighborhood even come out of their houses to stand on the front porch to watch the storms. They come up fast, and just as quickly gone. The streets dry up in an hour, and shortly afterwards, there's little trace left of the storm, but the memory, and reverification of an old saying......... Don't mess with Mother Nature :-)

Makin Jerky

2004-07-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

I made a "Process Improvement" this week. No, nothing related to the job, it's more related to my "Jerky Making" enterprise. If you've been following my attempts to establish "Tom's Ginger Sesame Teriyaki Jerky", you know the issue isn't with the recipe, which I've perfected, it's with the drying. The Ronco Dehydrator design, is "Convection" (rising heat) based. The unit therefore is extremely inefficient, and it takes ~ 12-14 hours to dry jerky, especially since I added the 4 additional trays that I bought on ebay. Putting on my engineering hat, I realized that what was needed was increased airflow through the unit. When I saw the 115 volt computer case fan, in Fry's Electronics, the "idea light bulb" came on. If I could somehow mount the fan on the top of the Ronco, the vents at the bottom and top would allow me to pull air from the bottom through the dehydrator, and out the top at an increased rate. But how to mount it......? Tupperware to the rescue! I found a bowl in my cupboard, whose upper lip matched the top of the Ronco, and who's lower lip was the diameter of the fan. I took everything out to my workbench, and after saw saw saw, drill drill drill, mount the fan, splice a plug from an extension cord, flip it upside down on top of the Ronco, and plug it in. Guess what? It worked on the first try! First time I can remember an experiment working perfectly the first time. I set it up last weekend for "The Pilot Run", and despite loading up the Ronco with 5+ pounds of beef (max capacity), I was able to reduce the drying time to 9 hours vs. 12-14. Nice to see all that College Engineering instruction didn't go to waste, eh? BTW, I'm already applying for the patent, and I am considering marketing it. What? Crazy Idea? Sure it is..... So was "The Frisbee", and don't forget "Pet Rocks". Just think, someday you can say, you were there in the beginning when Tom got the idea that made him rich :-)

Been Bowling Lately?

2004-07-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

Our department had our quarterly team builder function this week. For those unaware, every quarter, each department holds an off site activity, to build teamwork. I like to refer to it as “Have Fun And Get Paid Function”.This time, we went bowling! Great fun, but all I can say is that I’m glad that intel’s future DOES NOT depend on Process Engineers “bowling skills”, otherwise, the company might as well declare bankruptcy right now J We went over to Kyrene Lanes, which is < ¼ mile from my house, so I went by the house, and oicked up my “gear”. Up, I’ve got the Ball, the shoes, and yes, even a bowling towel. I had to endure the expected “Pro Bowler Tom” jokes from my “friends”, but I gathered they were just jealous of my cool shoes, since they all were wearing those funky pschadelic “rental” shoes. Anyway, I was really looking forward to goofing on the Group Leaders, and especially the Department manager’s bowling skills, since he can really take a joke, but he was too smart for me, and he coordinated everything, so he didn’t bowl. Drat, another comedy sketch opportunity lost….. sigh, oh well. Anyway, my first game was terrible, since I didn’t recall the “magic bowling technique” that I use to use, when I bowled in leagues every week. Let’s just say that the “technique” had to do with making use of an elixer combination of water, barley, and hopps. The second and third games went much much better, or maybe I just didn’t care as much? In any case, based on my observation of the relative skill levels of my fellow PE’s, all I can say to the rest of the PE’s in the department is…….. Don’t quit your day jobs :-)

Isn't Home Ownership Fun?

2004-07-08T01:32:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend, it appears that I get to be Mr. Landscaper. See, I have in ground sprinklers in my back yard, to take care of keeping the backyard grass alive. Last weekend, I noticed that when the sprinklers went off, one of them was shooting a stream of water straight up in the air ~ 20ft. Closer examination of the "pop up" sprinkler, revealed the sprinkler body was cracked. No problem, screw out the old body, remove the height riser from the old, screw it into the new, and screw the new body back into the underground pipe, done deal, right? 2 nights ago, when I was double checking the "water throw" distance of the new sprinkler, a second water jet sprung up in the middle of the lawn. Unfortunately, this one appears to have broken off at the riser. For those unaware, you can cut the riser to different lengths, and it is what is used to adjust the height of the sprinkler above ground. As best as I can tell, with a flashlight, there is still a piece of the riser jammed in the pipe connecter, and I can't reach down far enough with the needle nose pliers to get at it. Anyone here is Az knows what that means….. you have to dig. Hopefully, I can peel back the sod in one piece, dig down about 1 ft, and maybe needle nose out the riser pieces then, otherwise I'll have to cut and splice a new piece in (more digging). Sounds like fun huh? Did I mention I also noticed a leak in the front yard dribble system underground pipe? That's a digging situation too. I so remember living in apartments in NYC, where if something was wrong, you picked up the phone, and it got fixed. SIGH, I can say, that after owning the house now for 9 years, I sometimes long for those days of easy maintenance, and no bother, non-home ownership……….. PSYCHE….. I almost had ya there for a second, eh? Anyway, I hope that YOU all have a fun weekend :-)

My Dog Max Has A Rough Week

2004-06-30T01:26:00.000-07:00

Poor Poor MaxDog. He was sick last week. I noticed that in the morning that he seemed to have an excessive mucous discharge from his eyes. Now everybody gets "sandman", but this was much much worse. When I looked closely at his eyes, I noticed that in the outside corners, the skin was splitting, and there even seemed to be some dried blood (sob). So naturally, I took him to the Vet right away. I sometimes wish I got as good medical care as these 2 dogs get. Of course I don't have some really kind, wonderful, generous, and not to mention good looking, person taking care of me :-) The vet thought it unusual, because Springer Spaniels don't normally suffer from eye problems. She used some sort of "eye stain", which determined that it was not some internal illness, but more likely some sort of eye infection, or irritation. I think I know what happened. I take these guys for walks late at night on the weekends. Since we just go to the neighborhood greenbelt area 2 blocks away, and it's so late when we go, that I don't leash them on the way. They run around, here and there, sticking their noses into everything. The vet (and I ) believe that Max stuck his nose into something that he is either allergic to, or just something that got into his eyes. In any case, the Vet gave me some doggie eye drops for him, and it cleared up :-) One funny note, I detected a certain jealousy in JulieDog, since MaxDog was getting something (The eye drops) that she wasn't getting, so I rinsed out, and filled up an old "Visine" bottle that was almost empty, with water, and then JulieDog could receive "eye drops" too. Peace was then restored in the household. Sigh, they're just like children sometimes, but I love them anyway :-)

Slice Of Life..... In The Beginning

2004-06-21T01:20:00.000-07:00

So, some Slice Of Life fans have asked me recently "How did SOL start"? So, way back, when I first got into Engineering atmy company, I was a member of a company culture group call The Latino Network. One of the things the group was sponsoring, was a "D-League" (fun league) softball team. The thing is, our so called "team"…… was awful. I don't mean bad….. I mean Real Bad. We were so bad (how bad were you), that what we did might not actually be described as 'playing softball". So bad, that a children's T-Ball team would have beaten us. So bad….. That "Charlie Brown's Team" would have kicked or butts. It was comical. Several of my co-workers would ask how the game went, so over coffee in the café, I told these little "softball stories". After repeating the same story, over, and over, and over again, I just started putting a little blurb at the bottom of my weekly. After the season was over (record of 0-11 by the way), I stopped doing it, and I got so many notes about 'What happened to those cool stories", that I started to tell stories about other things that were happening around me, that struck me as amusing, and SOL was born. I'm not even sure where the name originally came from, but there it is. So, without further adu, I present, the "Original" Slice Of Life It's not much, and I hadn't yet seen our team's "potential", despite our first games score, but it is the original SOL. BTW, the Weekly Report was dated 01/29/98 :-)

Employee Support Groups
-----------------------
* Formed our Softball Team, and had our first
game, against Chandler Christian Church. Final Score: CCC=18 ILN=6.
ILN Record: 0-1. My Batting Avg: .667

Winner At The D-Backs Game

2004-06-17T07:54:00.000-07:00

So, ya didn't really get an SOL this week, just Tom's bitching, so I guess I owe ya one. Last Night, we went to the D-Backs/Yankees Game at the Bob. Boy most New York Fans are STILL Obnoxious and Rude, I guess nothing's changed in the 26 years since I left NYC, but that's another story. Guess What? Last Night, I won $50.00 from Fry's Supermarkets at the Game! CoooooL huh? You may remember from a past SOL, I told ya that at the Diamondbacks Games, have a promotion where they get the Fans to hold up their supermarket discount card, they scan the crowd, and pick someone out for display on "The Big Screen" and the $50.00 Gift Certificate. The last time they picked our section, they gave it to the lady with the cute baby. But what I noticed, was that just before it happened, a DBacks Employee, with a headset was standing at the bottom of our section, scanning the crowd, and being directed. I realized that they pre-pick the section, then look for somebody to give it to, so for the last 2 years, at every game I go to (16 season tix per year), I've been watching for that employee. Well, last night….. I saw him! They announced they were going to do the promotion, I looked down, and there he was, scanning the crowd, just like before! Since they ALWAYS pick a DBacks fan, and I was wearing my DBacks Jersey and hat, I whipped out my Fry's Card, Stood up, and waved my card and my arms around like a fool….. The employee starts walking UP THE STAIRS, the announcer is saying "We're scanning the crowd….. The employee stops on our row, and the announcer says….. "And the winner is…….. YOU"! BOOM! The camera zooms in, and there's Tom….. up on the Big Screen, 40ft High! The guys hands me the $50.00 Gift Card, I throw my hands up in the air in victory, turn around 360 degrees, and the Whole Section Cheers! So….., High 5's all around, 15 seconds of fame, and Filet Mignon this weekend, it just doesn't get much better then that! :-)

Give e A Freekin Break..... Please

2004-06-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

Whew….. SOL time off, boy did I need that. First, Thanks so much for all your nice notes and comments when Slice Of Life went off-line. I really, really, really appreciated it. Now….. On the other hand….. I wanted to take this first SOL return message to tell you why I needed a sabbatical. That's why I complimented you first. Some may be….. disappointed at the rest. First….. Let me tell you, I LOVE doing SOL, it feeds my creative/artistic bent, not to mention, my Ego, what with everyone telling me so often, how great it is, who wouldn't like that? I sometimes even feel like I've achieved a sort of small fame. What I've learned though, is that there is a dark side to fame. In the last few years, the SOL fan base has exploded geometrically. SOL is reforwarded so many times, I'm not even sure how many people read it. It's become so popular, that I even began to feel a certain "pressure to perform". SOL to be honest, is not at the top of my "Life Priority List", but if I was having a busy week, or an off week, or didn't deliver SOL at all, I was bombarded with dozens of messages in multiple media's probing into "What's Wrong" with me, when actually, nothing's "wrong". I know it's genuine concern, but "geometrically", it's overwhelming. I occasionally even received a few critical e-mails, concerning how I "let these people down", because they didn't get their SOL, or it wasn't "good enough" that week….. Geeeeez, who could be, or would want to be, creative in that atmosphere? Like I said, I KNOW it's all out of concern, or just joking, but please….. Do me a favor….. In the future, If I'm having a week where I'm up to my arse in alligators and can't think of anything else, or for whatever reason I don't deliver SOL to someone's perceived expectations….. Cut me some slack….. OK? Thanks. :-D

The Jerky King

2004-03-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

You can call me "Chef Tom" again this week. I'm trying my hand at taking the "Beef Jerky Making" crown away from our resident Champion Jerky Maker, "Hub". I tried to con him out of his recipe by slyly asking questions about my ingredients, but he was too smart for me, and saw right through it. So far, I've made 2 batches. The first batch came out tasting………. Less then desired, although all my taste testers were nice enough not to spit it out immediately (at least not while I was standing there, anyway). Fortunately, I was able to diagnose the incorrect ingredient (drat that stupid internet web recipe), and I substituted "something else" for the second batch, and adjusted the "seasonings" accordingly. The second batch came out much better. I can tell, because on the second batch there were several feedbacks received of "Can I have some more", which was in STARK contrast to the "No, one piece is fine" feedback I got from the first batch. I didn't even have a chance to get a sample to everyone who tasted the first batch, before the second batch was gone! I got a few more feedback suggestions, so I've adjusted the recipe again. Also, I happened to notice in today's Fry's supermarket flier that Bottom Round Beef is on sale this week, so "Hub", if your reading this (I know you are)…… The Gauntlet is hereby thrown down….. Let the competition for "Jerky King" commence!

Spring Training

2004-03-26T15:34:00.000-07:00

The entire Process Engineering Department went to a Spring Training Game on Wednesday Afternoon this week, at the California Angels Spring Training Facility in Tempe. Coincidentally, there were 2 other intel groups there too, so instead of calling it Tempe Diablo Stadium, maybe we should have called it Arizona intel Campus - Tempe. In any case, the weather was beautiful, the beer was cold, and it always makes an even a little sweeter when the thought crosses your mind that everyone else at that time is still working. The game even managed to be exciting at the end, with the Chicago Cubs tying the score up in the 8th inning, and the Angels winning it on a bases loaded hit in the bottom of the ninth. I love being in Az during this timeframe, when most of the rest of the country is still trying to shrug off winter, we have to be concerned with applying sunscreen, so we don't sunburn, and hanging out with the co-workers often shows a side of them you never see at work. Several people took pictures, and I happened to appear in several, and everyone seemed to have a great time. Of course, in the scheme of professional baseball, Spring Training doesn't really count for anything….. Unless you happen to be viewing it during work time that is…….

My JAG's 1 Year Anniversary

2004-03-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

Did you know it's my anniversary this week? Yup, 1 year ago this week, I bought the new car. OK, to most people, that's not an anniversary, but I'm different….. If you haven't figured that out already. The reason it was memorable, was because I was previously driving that other car around for 11 years, and this was the first time in my life where I bought a new car, when I didn't really need one. There was nothing wrong with the Grand Am, besides the fact that it was 11 years old, and also this time, for the first time, I bought a car not because it was practical, or because I needed it, I bought it simply because….. I wanted it. Now, buying a Jag X-Type, can't usually be considered 'practical', but I still did manage to throw a little practicality into it by buying one of the 5 "loaner cars" they had on the lot. It was the 2002 model, and already had 8K on it, but they gave me the full 4 yr/50K mi new car warranty, and knocked 12,600 off the MSRP. OK, nobody pays MSRP, but you don't usually get 12 grand knocked off of it either. I took it in today for it's Free 20K service, and they gave me a 2004 X-Type as a loaner. Not as nice as mine, of course. No Sunroof, No Premium Sound, and it's painted a color that can only be called Puke Blue, but I'm trying to "bear up" under the "suffering". When I look back 1 year, I'm still happy I bought mine, and I guess I can sum it up best by my response to my friend when she mentioned that "You just bought this car to snub your nose at people driving cheaper cars, and to attract women". My response……. "Yeah, what's your point"? :-)

The Birds Told Me, That's How I Know

2004-03-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

So, Winter is over, and Spring is here. How do I know? The Birds told me…… Sort of. Ya see, one of the things that I happened to notice after moving here to "The Valley Of The Sun" a decade ago, is that this city appears to sit almost directly under multiple west coast North/South bird migration routes. Like most "travelers" through the area, Phoenix appears to be a convenient place to stop. If you look closely at the right time of year, for several weeks, there are a multitude of "V" formation bird groups in the sky's around here, and occasionally you can come upon groupings of trees in the local parks with what seems to be thousands of resting birds concentrated in a small area, usually near a water source. I started seeing them in the sky this year, late last week. You can tell it's not local birds, because they fly in those "Long Distance" V Formations, and at this time of year, their flight directions seem to always be generally either North, or Northeast. So, if birds" fly south for the winter", it only makes logical sense to assume that they would also "fly back north for the summer". So, I care not what the Weather Channel, or the Almanacs, or the TV Weather people say, Winter is gone, and Spring is here……. I have it on very good authority. :-)

P.S. - Hey…...Lay off those "That SOL Story Is For The Birds"….. Jokes you're making….. I know you are :-)

My Laptop Has A Nervous Breakdown

2004-02-26T14:23:00.000-07:00

So, maybe you heard already, maybe not, but my laptop had a nervous breakdown this week. I powered it up, and it made a funny noise, like when you hit the wrong key, then it went nuts. The noise went "Bonk…. Bonk….bonkbonkbonkbonkbonkbonkbonk". When I took it to the PC repair place, all 3 techs got up to gather round to see the "Thing that they've never seen before"…… NOT a Good Sign. 2 days later, they leave me a message…. "Can you call me please"?, Not….. "Come and get it, it's fixed"….. This is also not a good sign. When I went over there, they said "Complete Registry corruption, we're not supporting that model for the company anymore, so….. We'll have to give you this upgraded, top of the line Centrino, is that O.K."? Ummmm Gee……. I guess I'll just HAVE to suffer through it. And they saved all my Microsoft Office files too! (Whew). Also, they loaded the software to allow me to link my laptop through my Home Cable Modem ISP (With an additional Billion Firewalls added), so now my home setup is a 2.8GHz P4HT, with 1 gig RAM, Radeon Graphics Card, Motorola Surfboard Modem, linked through a 5Gbyte router, hooked through High Speed Cable Internet Modem with wireless connectivity ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR ARRR……….. Whew…… Sorry, I had a testosterone overdose there, it happens anytime I talk about high tech toys….. Or Power Tools…… or machines of any kind. Remind me to tell the story sometime about when I almost electrocuted myself by taking off the back of the television "To see what was inside". I recall that I was 6yrs old at the time. The more things change, the more they stay the same huh?

btw - I uncovered 2 SOL underground fan clubs last week, and get this, both are "outside intel". Since they only get cut/paste of this section, not anything above, it's okeee dokeee with me. So, allow me to take this opportunity to welcome those fans who work for "The Alphabet TV Network", and also to those fans that work for "The only Mouse on Earth that operates a "People Trap". Think about it :-)

The Secret Slice Of Life Fan Club

2004-02-19T07:47:00.000-07:00

So, it was nice to see all the concern for me last week from "No SOL", thanks. Maybe it was just SOL withdrawal symptoms? Yeah........ You can admit it, I already know. :-) Anyway, there was this really interesting thing that did happen last week. I can't remember the exact details, so for the person involved, my apologies if the details are a bit off (I know you'll read this.... eventually). We were sitting around in the café, an we were talking about recent events that were happening, you know, typical café B.S., when I said something (I don't remember what), that was apparently amusing, and the woman who was sitting with us said "Oh, you should put that in your Slice Of Life". I was stunned....... Mainly because....... This person isn't on my distribution list!!! "Ummmmm", says I, "Just how do you even know about SOL"? Turns out, that I apparently have this Huge...... How can I say it........This huge, Secondary..... Underground...... SOL Fan club! Now, like 'I've said in the past, I have several people on the dis list that don't care beans about anything written above this SOL section, but apparently, my weekly is being forwarded.... and forwarded...... And forwarded...... To this whole network of unknown fans. No problem..... I don't mind..... I'm actually kind of flattered....... (aw shucks), so, if you are a member of this "Secret Society", I just want to take a moment to also welcome you to "The Fold"...... Welcome. Hey.... Maybe that "crazy" idea I had about correlating the ~150 SOL publications that I have into a book..... Maybe might not be so crazy after all..........

Janet's "Wardrobe Malfunction"

2004-02-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Did you see Janet's "performance" at the SuperBowl Halftime? No, I'm not interested in what happened, that's been beaten to death, what was interesting to me was to see the huge difference in character shown afterwards by the participants. When I was in the military, I met up with what could be described as some of the biggest liars on the planet, so my B.S. detector is highly tuned. That whole weasel Timberlake thing about "Wardrobe Malfunction", and then last night him saying "I didn't know anything about it, I'm shocked", wouldn't even fool a moron. If it's one thing that really pisses me off, it's when someone like Timberlake is lying to me... So badly, that not even an idiot would believe it, and even in the face of the obvious, they still maintain innocence, even when they're the only one who believes themselves. In contrast, Janet didn't try to excuse anything, or blame it on somebody else, or try to B.S. everyone with stories about "I didn't know". Nope, she simply stood up publicly, said she messed up, and was very sorry. Let the chips fall where they may. Everybody makes mistakes, the real measure of a person's character, is what you do afterwards. On one hand, one of these people has gained my impression, that they are a low life, lying weasel, interested only in saving their skin, and not to be trusted, while the other, has gained from me something very different........ Respect. I know which one I'd want as my friend.

Thoughts On AnEast Coast Business Trip

2004-01-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

Thoughts On An East Coast Trek

That snow stuff falling from the sky? I saw it, at the airport layover in Cleveland.......... CoooooooL
Did you know the Airport TSA can open your checked bag, search it, drop a "sorry" note in it, put a tie wrap on it, and send it on it's way? I didn't, I do now....
Strange feeling to notice a layer of ice on the leading edge of the plane's wing while sitting at the Cleveland gate. Goodie Drawer award to the guy who de-iced us.
New England streets go up, down, in, out, diagonal, and all around, changing street names at whim. Driving's not a task, it's an adventure.
Have you ever noticed, the first time you meet someone, often, they don't look like you imagined they did over the telephone? Me too.
I Loved hearing that Eastern Accent again. Nobody says Sure, they say Show-aa. Don't laugh, after a week, I was saying it too.
I got to wear my Winter Heavy Leather Bomber Jacket. Bought it 3 years ago, third occasion I've worn it.
The Radisson was ok, but the Courtyard in Woburn was 15-20min North of Downtown, 1.5 years old, and cheaper. A nice place to stay for vacation in Boston
Those stories about Boston Traffic downtown? Much Much better since they opened the tunnel. So I hear. Looked ok every time to me.
The John F Kennedy Library and Museum near the UMass college campus was awesome. If you get to Boston, it's not to be missed......
It was nice to see the family. My Cousin and her Husband live just North of Boston, and my Sis and Aunt Drove in from NY State.
The family is also just as fun as I remember. I think we may be banned from one club downtown, for Loud and/or Obnoxious behavior......... YES!
Dorothy (and toto too) had it right. No matter how nice a vacation place may be..... There's no place like home.

A Thing Called..... SNOW

2004-01-18T16:36:00.000-07:00

Whew! You East Coast guys gave me a scare this week. I heard that there is FREEZING weather back there in Boston. Get this..... They have this white stuff that falls from the sky in the winter time..... They call it..... Ready.....? Snow. Yeah, sort of like that stuff that shoots out of the snow cannons on the Sunrise/Snowbowl ski slopes up there in Flagstaff, only I hear it's a better quality than the snow gun stuff, and get this...... It falls Naturally from the sky!!!!!! Yup..... Yup, I kid you not. I saw it in one of my ski magazines, but being a good little Arizona "Zonie", I always though it was a myth. Turns out, they have this snow stuff falling from the sky all over the U.S., and get this, I saw a Chicago weather person saying "The temps are down around 20deg, so it's GETTING cold..... Getting......? At 20deg? They must not know the Arizona rule that anything < 70deg....... IS COLD ALREADY! What's up with that??? Yeah, Yeah, I know, you VF types are LYAO, but I'm guessing if you came here in oh say..... July, you'd be saying 95deg is HOT (Ha!), when all us Zonnies know that HOT doesn't start until AT LEAST 110deg. We call 95deg in July, a "Cold Spell". Anyway East Coast, Get ready, cause Tom's coming...... BEWARE!!!!

P.S. - Welcome..... New Slice Of Life Fan! You know who you are! :-)

Happy New Year!

2004-01-09T14:27:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year! Did you miss me during my 2 week "SOL Sabbatical"? Yes you did.... Based on how many people mentioned it to me. Good to be back. It's a new year, and guess what? A new look for me. If you've seen me since the holidays, you already know, but it's a funny story how it came about. During the last part of the Holidays, I sort of got lazy, and stopped shaving, Now, I'm not the hairiest guy around, but if I stop, I am capable of growing the Moustache/Goatee look. Not that I was trying to or anything, but at Lunch with an X-Girlfriend, she happened to mention... "Growing a Goat, eh? Looks good". "REALLY" Says I, and blew it off as "Ex BS"

Then a second girl I dated off and on made similar comments. Y the time the Girl I've taken out a few times recently, made positive comments, it made me go hummmmmm. So I decided on an experiment. I planned to shape it up, and go back to work with it, to see the reaction. Does the word "Bombshell" have any meaning? My 2 female friends from Integration said they liked it, My friend from yield said she liked it, 3 Admins all voiced positive comments, one even saying "very sexy tom", so I think 'm hooked. One asked "What do the Guys Think" Ummmmm......... Who Cares.........? Dhuuuuuuu, if a guy wants to know how he looks, he doesn't ask other guys, because I don't care what guys think. So, anyway, I'm still soliciting feedback, so if ya see me in the halls, please try and remember what your Mom and/or Dad use to say.......

If you can't say something nice, DON'T say anything :-)